NARRATOR: The nation's favorite celebrities-- I like surprises.

..paired up with an expert...

I got excited then!

TIM: Ooh!

VO: Whoopsie!

..and a classic car.

BOTH: Here we go!

(CAR BACKFIRES) DAVID: Wowzer!

Their mission?

To scour Britain for antiques.

Am I on safari?

(WHISTLE BLOWS) The aim?

To make the biggest profit at auction.

(GASPS) But it's no easy ride.

Oh, dear!

Who will find a hidden gem?

(NEIGHS) Who will take the biggest risk?

(LAUGHS) Will anybody follow expert advice?

I hate it.

There will be worthy winners... (LAUGHS) ..and valiant losers.

DAVID: Double drat... ROSIE: Oh, no!

Put your pedal to the metal...

Spend, spend, spend.

This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

Hallelujah!

JJ: Mega.

NEIL: Mega!

VO: Mega indeed.

Our two pilgrims driving a 1964 Morgan 44 through the back roads of Cheshire this wonderful morning are actor Neil Morrissey and TV presenter JJ Chalmers.

NEIL: I'm quite excited about this.

I've watched this program so much.

I've been dying to get onto it, and when they said, "Oh, yeah, come and do it," and with you, that was a major bonus.

JJ: It kind of just boils down to my philosophy of life, which is if somebody sort of offers you a chance to go on a journey, whether it's antiquing or spiritual enlightenment... Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, true.

..I'll have a go.

VO: And it was on a spiritual journey these two lads first met when they traveled the famous Camino de Santiago pilgrimage route together for a BBC documentary series.

Accomplished actor Neil shot to stardom in the legendary '90s lads' sitcom Men Behaving Badly.

While JJ is a real-life hero, a former Marine Commando who survived life-threatening injuries in Afghanistan to captain the UK Invictus Games team and who now presents for BBC Sport.

So what do you know about antiques?

Nothing.

The simple answer is nothing.

Well, to be honest, you know, I'm pretty much the same, you know.

I know nothing about the specifics of things... Yeah.

..but I'd like to think I've got an eye.

VO: Yeah.

Well, you're both going to have extra expert eyes helping you today.

Yes, in a 1981 Ferrari 400i are Charles Hanson and Izzie Balmer.

CHARLES: Izzie, you're driving the car beautifully.

Just come this way a bit more and just... CHARLES: It is automatic, so... IZZIE: Why?

CHARLES: There's a dog there.

IZZIE: What?

CHARLES: Hello, good morning.

IZZIE: Charles!

The person who is, like, the worst driver in the world is instructing me how to drive this car.

VO: Don't you hate passenger-seat drivers?

CHARLES: I like your driving, Izzie, you're doing really well.

For the time being.

For the time being.

And I can't believe who we're meeting.

Am I behaving myself, by the way?

Neil Morrissey, what a legend.

NEIL: I've got Charles Hanson.

JJ: Yes.

NEIL: He's, um... You know I'm reasonably competitive.

NEIL: I know you are.

JJ: Well... NEIL: But apparently he's a monster.

Then, Izzie, a man who's seen so much... IZZIE: Yes.

CHARLES: ..lived a life in more ways than one.

Yes, absolutely.

JJ Chalmers!

JJ: I'm completely relying on Izzie.

I'll be intrigued to see whether I'm actually drawn towards things or whether I'm just terrified of a roomful of things I think I'm just going to lose money on.

I can't believe it.

Two invigorating, inspiring men... Mm-hm.

..who've done so much, and they've got you and I.

The dream team.

The dream team, Izzie!

I hope they're as excited to meet us as we are to meet them.

Oh, I am as well.

VO: Well, let's find out, shall we?

Just as soon as our pilgrims make their progress to a car park somewhere in sunny Cheshire.

CHARLES: Iz, they're here.

Look at this car.

IZZIE: Fab!

CHARLES: Good morning.

NEIL: Just for you, Charles.

CHARLES: Look at this, how are you?

NEIL: Just for you.

CHARLES: Great to see you.

I'll go round here, OK?

VO: Now, let's divvy up the teams, shall we?

Oh, stand lively.

So, gents, Izzie and myself are here.

We can't wait to really rock and roll on the Antiques Road Trip way.

I think JJ, if it's OK, you'll be with Izzie Balmer.

Modern Ferrari, fast living, you guys.

CHARLES: The classic past.

You and I.

Yes.

JJ, we need to get going and beat these guys to it.

CHARLES: Oh, right.

NEIL: We are the tortoise and they are the hare.

IZZIE: See you later!

CHARLES: Indeed, yeah.

Don't go too fast in that car.

How do you get in, by the way?

You've got to sort of slide yourself down.

Oh yes.

VO: So with both teams ready to go, let's get road tripping.

This is...

This is brilliant.

It feels like a James Bond car.

You think it's gonna turn into a submarine at some point.

JJ: You know what I mean?

IZZIE: That would be cool.

Like I'll just flick a switch here that'll eject you.

I wouldn't want to do that, obviously.

I was gonna say, why are you ejecting me?

That's just what happened in James Bond.

IZZIE: I've only just met you!

JJ: Yeah.

VO: Oh, it happens to all the best Bond girls, Izzie.

I feel quite at home in this car with you.

You know, two classic guys.

NEIL: Yeah.

You want a nice lady with a bonnet on next to you, you know.

But you'll do, Charles, you'll do.

Oh, thank you, Neil!

I like your flowery shirt, by the way.

Thank you very much.

It's got a '60s feel about it.

Yeah.

VO: I feel a bromance brewing.

IZZIE: I think our tactics should be head over heart.

JJ: OK. OK, good.

That being said, if you found something you loved, you loved, loved, loved, then... You only live once.

Surely it's worth... JJ: Oh, yeah, totally, yeah.

IZZIE: ..going for it, trying it.

On a serious note, Neil, you're quite a competitive guy.

Totally.

Good man.

Me as well.

But we're up against an ex-Marine.

Exactly.

Who's quite solid.

NEIL: Who's quite solid.

CHARLES: Who's quite tough.

Haggling terrifies me.

I'd sooner go back to Afghan and face the Taliban than have to go and ask some lovely little lady behind the counter for money off of something.

But you're gonna help me, right?

Of course.

I'll be 100% there and behind you all the way, whilst quietly and possibly quite visibly laughing at you.

VO: Well, let's see if that's true.

Today's road trip starts in Cheshire, then potters about the Potteries in Staffordshire before also finishing at auction here in Penkridge.

Each team starts with £400 to spend.

First stop for both our teams is Northwich Antiques and Collectables Centre in Barnton.

And first there are JJ and Izzie.

This is your first antique shop, isn't it?

Really is.

VO: And this four-floor former pub is a big old place for an antiques virgin like JJ.

IZZIE: Have you spotted anything?

Well, I mean, I'm overwhelmed to begin with.

And this is kind of what I feared, to be quite honest.

Just being like "whoa".

I don't know what anything is.

VO: Well, don't take too long, because your competitors aren't far behind you.

CHARLES: Go by this one here.

NEIL: Oh, look, there's a Ferrari.

CHARLES: Look, they're here already.

Who do they think they are, hey?

Very nice.

NEIL: Right, well, um... CHARLES: I think let's go round here, and...

So, really, seeing is believing.

What's gonna leap out at us?

VO: Let's leave you two to browse.

Where are our other pair?

JJ: Izzie, check this out.

This...

I actually own one of these.

So who knew?

I've got an antique.

Because it's a commando knife and you were a commando.

Yeah, this is a commando... A dagger, as we would call it.

Oh, OK. And so yeah, you get, you know, that was started in the Second World War when the commandos started.

This is the symbol of being a Commando.

VO: The FS knife, or dagger, as it's known, was named after its designers, Fairburn-Sykes, and was first made for the British commandos in 1941.

This one is valued at £195.

I didn't expect it to be that expensive, if I'm completely honest.

Er, it does make me think, mine's got a bit of a story to it as well.

Yeah, well, I mean, I'm guessing you would never sell yours.

Not a chance.

IZZIE: What is it about it that is so special?

It's the symbol.

It is that idea.

This is the physical sort of manifestation - that and your green beret - of being a commando.

And to me the most important thing about it is it's the heritage.

To me it's priceless.

VO: Priceless, indeed.

Now, there's nothing quite catching Neil and Charles's attention yet.

Who doesn't love a globe?

Er, are JJ and Izzie faring any better?

I love old things like this.

"The penalty is 40 shillings."

What even is 40 shilling?

Well, exactly.

My mum would know, I think.

VO: It's £2, or 480 pence in old money.

Honestly, the young today!

The thing I like about it is, like, I know what it is, you know what I mean?

Like it's obviously a sign, but I know what it's been, how it's been made.

It's cast iron.

IZZIE: My only concern is it isn't in the best of conditions.

We've got all of this wear here, and then the paint's all flaking off.

So what is the price?

£130.

IZZIE: That is quite pricey.

JJ: Yeah.

To a collector, it would need to be significantly cheaper than that because there's not really a way of repairing it without removing all of the paint.

You know, I think the passing general public might find it, you know, kind of entertaining.

Do you want to... Do you want to go for this?

I think I do.

Right.

Let's put your haggling to the test.

JJ: Oh, I'm getting a shiver down my spine.

VO: Oh, don't be such a scaredy cat, JJ.

You've only got the lovely Sylvia to negotiate with.

IZZIE: Hello, Sylvia.

DEALER: Oh, hi.

I'm just gonna put this down here cuz it's a little heavy.

Oh yes, it is, isn't it?

Let me help.

IZZIE: So, um... DEALER: It's lovely.

..I'm gonna hand this one over to JJ.

OK.

So... my heart is racing, by the way, I'm not...

I mean, I think it's...

I like this piece, but, you know, I've got to get a strong haggle in, if you don't mind.

So, you know, look at my charm.

You might as well just give me it for half price.

Well, it's got 130 on it.

Could let you have it for 100.

I would love to see it in two figures.

Can we go... Can we go to... 80?

VO: Oh, you're so brave, JJ.

That's what they teach you in commando school.

How about we meet in the middle, then, and go 85?

Oh, go on, then.

Yeah, yeah.

Fair enough.

Yes.

That would be super.

Amazing!

I would like you to win you see.

I thought you might say no!

Yes.

Oh, I know.

There's 100.

VO: At £85, that's £45 knocked off the sign - bravo to JJ on his first haggle and first antique purchase.

Now where are the other two?

Come on, think.

What's that?

NEIL: What's this?

CHARLES: What's that?

VO: What's that?

CHARLES: Look at this here.

NEIL: Where?

Oh, that's nice.

Ivy ware... Oh, that's really nice.

Do you know, that's edgy.

VO: Oh, yes.

This 1930s art-deco coffee set is Ivy ware, named after the type of glaze on the pottery.

It's made by Hancock's in neighboring Staffordshire, Neil's home county.

That is so striking.

So... NEIL: What is it?

..what's really... What's really important is how many components there are.

NEIL: OK, look.

Teapot.

CHARLES: Check.

NEIL: Coffee pot.

CHARLES: Check.

NEIL: One, two, three, four, five, six cups.

Check.

The important question now is how many saucers.

Tell me there's six, Neil.

One, two, three, four, five, six saucers.

CHARLES: I think we're in business.

NEIL: It's a full...

I think we're in business.

48 quid they've got on it.

I mean, that, to me, isn't a lot.

OK, it's not a mainstream name.

No, but it's a wonderful piece.

And it does scream the period.

It does.

It screams the period.

NEIL: If we can get that for 30... Let me get my head in there very quickly and just check on the condition.

Hold on.

Go on, get your head in.

VO: Would it not be easier to take them out and have a look, Charles?

There's no hairline cracks.

I think it's good to go.

I think it's a winner.

VO: One for later on, then.

Now, what else is tucked away in here?

It's a very officers' mess feel.

I am way above my pay grade.

Look at... Look at... What's all this?

Hello!

Why are you looking so relaxed?

You should be antiques shopping.

We've made a purchase.

And so... Izzie's done all the hard work.

But, you know.

IZZIE: No, you did the haggle.

JJ: I did haggle.

Did you do the haggle?

Have you been teaching him to haggle?

I don't think I've taught him very well, if I'm honest with you.

So, so you bought really quickly?

You're just feeling pretty confident?

We're living at speed.

Yeah, you see, more haste, less speed.

Good things come to those who wait.

NEIL: OK. CHARLES: And we're just waiting for the good things to come to us.

Yeah, we're meandering.

Off and meander.

CHARLES: See you later.

IZZIE: See you later.

VO: Well, don't meander for too long.

This is only the first shop today.

NEIL: Come and have a look at this.

CHARLES: What have you seen?

NEIL: Look at this.

Oh, that's nice.

And what it is is a little baby soother.

Look, it's mother-of-pearl and silver.

CHARLES: Oh, yeah.

NEIL: But listen.

It's a little rattle as well.

Oh, nice.

Now, how cute?

So what do you know about these?

This would date, I think, to about 1920.

And if you imagine Edwardian... Oh, time, under King George V, children were given that to chew on.

NEIL: Yeah.

As a teething ring.

CHARLES: Exactly.

As a teething aid.

And then, of course, you held it.

You would smile at a teddy bear.

CHARLES: And, of course... (RATTLING) So it's got a lot going for it.

The bell is still in there as well.

VO: The ticket price on this silver soother is £28.

Right, here we go.

Yeah, it's hallmarked.

Lovely.

Oh, lovely.

Yes.

English hallmark, London.

And what I look for is... Can you see little teeth on the teether?

NEIL: Oh!

CHARLES: Where children... You can!

..may just have teethed all those years ago.

That's lovely.

I like that.

NEIL: I really like that.

CHARLES: I like that, and I think at £28... NEIL: I think it's a no-brainer.

I think it's a stunning find.

And if we do a deal for the two together, we're in business.

Let's do it.

VO: Back to Sylvia.

What can our two white-suited smoothies do here?

NEIL: Here we are.

DEALER: Hi.

A couple of items that we really like.

And your name is Sylvia as well?

DEALER: It is.

CHARLES: Like the silver bear.

NEIL: And the silver top.

DEALER: Please.

And this green attire...

Yes, yes.

..matches your top.

Beautiful top, by the way.

Makes no difference, you know.

VO: Ha-ha!

That failed.

For the two items together, I see you've got 20... 48 and 28.

So that's six... 68... 76?

So what about 50 for the pair?

50's a bit low, really.

I'll let you have it for 55, seeing as I'm in a good mood.

I think 55 is a deal, Sylvia.

Thank you.

Sylvia, we're over the moon!

VO: Yeah, well, doubles all round for that deal.

That's the soother for £20 and the coffee set for 35.

Super.

(ENGINE STARTS) CHARLES: Very good.

NEIL: Very good.

We do... You and I, we make a good team.

NEIL: Yes.

CHARLES: How we search and how we run parallel.

Onwards and upwards.

Exactly.

Let's do it.

VO: Meanwhile JJ and Izzie have traveled to Moulton, a village where the scarecrows are keeping a secret.

But, oddly, Moulton's past isn't in farming.

It's in salt.

This little village saw a population boom by 20 times from around 100 in the 19th century to over 2,000 by World War I, all thanks to work in the local salt mines.

JJ: So is what we're about to do salt-based, then?

IZZIE: Well, I don't think so.

JJ: We're doing tequila?

JJ: Is that what's happening?

IZZIE: Yes!

Yes, that's what we're doing.

Er, no.

Sorry to disappoint.

Oh.

You're driving.

Right, yes.

Fair enough.

VO: Naughty.

No tequila for you, JJ.

But you are heading to the local pub to find out what links salt and scarecrows.

What is this?

IZZIE: She is not having a good day, is she?

JJ: Totally.

IZZIE: Shall we go inside?

JJ: Yeah.

VO: This is all getting very odd.

What on Earth?

He-he!

Ah, JJ, look!

Is this the man we're here to meet?

Here's our man.

Hello, I'm JJ.

Pleased to meet you.

I'm Crow Man 12.

JJ: Crow Man 12?

CROW MAN: Pleased to meet you.

IZZIE: Crow Man 12?

VO: I bet it doesn't say that on his birth certificate.

Crow Man 12?

Why 12?

12 because in the dance, there is 16 crows.

The dance?

Well, we do a traditional dance in the village called the crow dance, or originally called The Relics Of The Cornfield.

It was first carried out by redundant salt workers.

VO: When the Depression hit in the 1920s, the unemployed salt miners were forced to scavenge off nearby coal slag heaps.

They became covered in black dust and nicknamed the crows.

With no welfare state to turn to, they decided to earn their corn by forming a dance troupe to perform in the lucrative competitions at local fetes.

Taking their nicknames as the inspiration for their routine, they returned to Moulton with trophies and much-needed cash.

CROW MAN: So any money that was won was actually brought back and spread around the redundant families to make sure that everybody was well looked after.

VO: Incredibly, they won so often that they were banned - ha!

- and asked to take appearance money instead to give others a chance.

The derogatory nickname that the desperation of poverty had given them was now turned into a source of cash and much-needed community pride.

But, despite all this success, by the 1970s, interest in dance competition at fetes began to wane and, by the 1980s, the crows were no more.

VO: But like a phoenix from the flames, or a crow from the coal dust, in 2006, they rose again.

CROW MAN: They came and found 16 people out of the village.

And we learnt to do the dance off an old guy that had last done the crow dance in 1938.

And he more or less based the dance on what we did.

VO: The new crows, just like the original crows, were also anonymous.

This started in the 1930s, when any extra income could mean losing the newly introduced unemployment benefit.

But today it keeps a sense of drama and mystery about their performances.

We still won't let on who we are, and it's just a bit of fun.

That's what we're all about.

We try and keep it that way.

It's all fun for all the people of the village.

VO: And another part of the fun is the scarecrow competition, celebrating an integral part of the crow dance.

I am so curious to see what this is all about.

IZZIE: Can we see a dance?

CROW MAN: Yes, sure.

VO: As luck would have it, the crows are rehearsing just over the road.

CROW MAN: This is where we do the dance.

JJ: Brilliant.

I'm looking forward to seeing it.

CROW MAN: How do you fancy about having a go with us?

Knew that was coming.

I couldn't possibly say "no".

Oh, of course.

We've got one of our other crows... JJ: Oh, look at that!

..to present you with a kit.

My very own crow kit.

JJ: Thank you.

CROW MAN: Welcome to the crows.

Alright, well give me a minute then.

I'll go and slip into something more comfortable.

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: I can't possibly guess what he's going to look like!

Ha!

IZZIE: Look at you!

JJ: Nice to meet you, Izzie.

IZZIE: I don't recognize you at all.

Recognize me?

I'm Crow Man 17.

You've never met me before.

VO: There is one way we're going to recognize you, though.

JJ: Ah!

I was hoping you wouldn't know who I was!

VO: Ha-ha!

So now it's time for JJ, sorry, Crow Man 17, to strut his stuff and Izzie, helpfully, has the head crow man by her side to explain what's going on.

(FOLK MUSIC PLAYS) So what's the dance all about?

Well, you'll notice that the crows are lined up in procession here.

IZZIE: Yeah!

CROW MAN: It's as if they're processing through the town first of all.

Now, they're starting now, as you can see, and coming over in front of us here with the scarecrow in the middle.

This is them now starting to tease the scarecrow.

I've lost JJ.

Where's the L plate?

IZZIE: Oh, there it is.

CROW MAN: There he is.

He's got a nice little bounce, doesn't he?

It's that little ups and downs he's got there.

IZZIE: Whoo, JJ!

VO: According to tradition, the crows now get closer, prompting the farmer to get out his gun.

IZZIE: JJ, watch out!

Farmer's coming for you!

CROW MAN: It's slightly worrying that JJ's towards the back of the line here, as well.

He's making himself a little bit available.

No!

He needs to close rank!

He should know this from his military days!

(SHOTS FIRE) VO: The farmer now shoots at the crows to clear them off and manages to get a couple of them.

And for the finale, the scarecrow comes to life, just like The Wizard of Oz, but more terrifying!

Whoo!

That was so good!

JJ: I, erm, am actually pretty proud of myself.

(THEY CHUCKLE) He's really getting into this!

JJ: Look at it!

It's me!

IZZIE: It's you, JJ!

(THEY JEER) JJ: Sorry, lads.

Thank you so much for that.

That's brilliant.

You're very welcome.

Thanks very much for being a great sport.

Right, time for a drink?

Well, time to take this L plate off, I think.

JJ: Come on.

I've certainly... IZZIE: You can keep that one on.

JJ: I've earned my full crowdom.

VO: Back in the Morgan with Charles and Neil, they're en route to their second shop.

NEIL: That Chinese market - is that still buoyant?

CHARLES: Oh, I had a client once who bought a vase.

50 quid.

I sold it for him for £650,000.

Car-boot find.

NEIL: What?!

CHARLES: Yeah, I know.

CHARLES: It happens.

It happens.

NEIL: Wow!

He bought me a drink as a thank you.

As a thank you very much!

VO: Hopefully Charles will receive a bit more generosity at their next stop, the village of Lostock Gralam... ..home to Lostock Antiques, where the chaps have £345 left to spend.

CHARLES: Let's go.

NEIL: There we go.

NEIL: Ah.

CHARLES: Oh, it's a lovely old shop, Neil.

NEIL: Lovely.

CHARLES: Oh, it's full of tradition.

VO: But is it full of bargains?

NEIL: Look at that nice thing.

CHARLES: Parker, great name.

Original box.

NEIL: What would that mean, Parker 51?

CHARLES: That'll be the model.

And I think, if you think back to Parkers, George Safford Parker in Wisconsin, USA, invented the Parker pen in 1888.

NEIL: Wow!

CHARLES: This one, I suspect, is, what?

Mid 1960s, '70s, perhaps even a bit later.

When I was a kid, you really wanted a Parker pen to take to school.

CHARLES: Yes, exactly.

NEIL: And they were often Christmas presents.

And that's a really quality pen, actually.

And importantly, Neil, looks to be in good condition.

The nib also is aligned well, and these vintage pens today are highly sought after.

Quite nice thing.

Well, maybe we'll ask him about that.

Yeah, a great gift, yeah.

Mental note.

VO: One possible already, but without a ticket price.

Now, what else might be lurking around here?

Now, that's nice.

Now, do we think that's what we think it is?

I think it...

Which is a big capital M for... NEIL: Oh, yes, it's Moorcroft.

CHARLES: Moorcroft.

That's lovely.

NEIL: That is lovely.

This is a vase, which is beautiful, because it's not just stamped "Moorcroft, Burslem, Staffordshire."

Yeah.

You've got the signature of the original man, William Moorcroft.

Oh, really?

And he is the godfather, in my eyes, of the Potteries.

But this is a very early vase, so you're talking... NEIL: Wow!

CHARLES: ..1905.

VO: Again, though, no ticket price on the vase.

CHARLES: With any vase, and what you can do... Got a coin on you at all?

NEIL: 20.

CHARLES: So when you clink it all the way round the rim, it should ring to the same dense tone.

(CONSISTENT TAPPING) Sounds good to me.

It's perfect.

I love it, and if this went to auction, what's it worth?

Between 150 and 250.

Oh!

So anything less than 150, we could be onto something quite good.

VO: Time to speak to the man who can, Jan. Hello Jan, how are you doing?

JAN: Hello.

So we've found this.

You must've known it was there.

JAN: Oh, yeah.

That's the... CHARLES: How are you?

JAN: ..best piece in the shop.

NEIL: What's the price on that?

I'll give you...

I'll do it you for 120 and that's the death.

I'm not coming down any more, cuz it's worth a lot more.

NEIL: Do you know what?

CHARLES: Yeah?

Do you know?

NEIL: Let's not even negotiate that.

Oh, yeah.

Fine, yeah.

Oh, hang on, you were going to try and... No, no, no, no, no, listen!

He's born and bred in Stoke... JAN: Yeah?

NEIL: Yeah.

..aren't you, historically?

And this, to me, defines the capital of... JAN: Yeah.

..the Potteries, Moorcroft, so we're happy!

VO: Oh yeah.

No messing about on that deal, then.

Now, what else?

We saw the Parker pen earlier on in a case.

JAN: Yeah.

CHARLES: How much is that?

JAN: 50.

CHARLES: Excuse me?

£15?

JAN: 50!

CHARLES: Oh, sorry!

VO: God loves a trier, Charles.

Anything else we can see, no, you've seen it all in here?

Well, there's a monkey.

CHARLES: And a monkey.

You're a monkey!

(THEY CHUCKLE) You're a terrible monkey.

He's quite fun, actually.

I quite like him.

He's quite well worn.

He's been rubbing his tummy for good luck, and his head is quite receding.

And his pants are down.

His pa... Oh, hell.

Oh, his pants are down.

VO: Preserve the poor monkey's modesty, Charles.

So he's early, and I would say... How early is he, Jan?

About 1920s?

Yeah, exactly.

NEIL: How much would this be?

JAN: I could do you that for £20.

CHARLES: Really?

VO: £20?

That's peanuts.

CHARLES: I think he's quite... NEIL: Well, for 20 quid, I'm willing to take a gamble on that one.

Shake his hand.

Shake his hand.

There we are.

VO: Well, you pay peanuts, you get a monkey!

Ha!

NEIL: I'll give you 20 quid for the monkey and 120 quid NEIL: for the Moorcroft.

CHARLES: Superb.

JAN: Thank you.

CHARLES: So that's £140.

Yeah.

I'll do the pen for you for 25.

VO: Ah, yes, course, the pen.

CHARLES: So you're saying... 120, 140, um, 165?

Yeah.

And 165 cash is your best?

JAN: Yes.

CHARLES: 165 cash?

JAN: Yes.

CHARLES: Jan. JAN: Yes.

CHARLES: You're the man, Jan. JAN: Yes.

No, no.

CHARLES: Jan, uh, Neil?

JAN: 160 and that's it.

CHARLES: Neil!

NEIL: Oh!

CHARLES: That's £20 for the pen.

JAN: Yeah.

CHARLES: We got a deal!

I'll shake your hand for 160.

Lovely.

VO: So just to recap if you got lost in all that monkeying around - ha!

- that was £120 for the vase, £20 for the monkey and 20 for the pen.

Not a bad bit of business at all.

VO: That's Neil and Charles done for the day, and Izzie and JJ are calling it a day too.

IZZIE: How have you found your first day?

JJ: Oh, it's been amazing.

Yeah, it's been great fun.

Like, listen, I've got a new best friend.

That's good.

So that's good.

Are you talking about me?!

JJ: Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

IZZIE: Aw!

We've had a good adventure.

I think you have earned yourself a well-deserved drink.

JJ: That's for sure.

IZZIE: So, first round's on me.

JJ: Lovely.

IZZIE: And we, um...

Yes, we can drink to tomorrow.

Totally.

VO: Totally!

And on that note, nighty night.

Welcome to another sunny day on the Road Trip.

Now, how did our experts get on with their guests yesterday?

IZZIE: JJ is...

He's just wonderful.

He is such a brilliant man.

He's so fascinating.

He is.

I mean, talk about a hero.

I mean, what a hero.

I know.

He really is.

A hero yet so humble.

Neil and I - what a day we had, as well.

I mean, talk about a bromance.

It really was.

We had a great time.

We shopped hard.

But, you know, we had some great laughs, learned so much about Neil and his amazing life.

VO: And what's JJ and Neil's thoughts on the world of antique buying?

JJ: Bought one item.

NEIL: Oh?

In hindsight, I don't know if it'll make a lot of money.

It's a hit or a miss, I think.

NEIL: Ha-ha-ha!

JJ: But I got 45 quid off it.

NEIL: Oh!

Well that's ... JJ: Yeah.

Pretty good haggle.

So, like, to me, that's a decent haggle.

Well, er, I mean, we had a very successful day.

Oh, no.

I mean, I'm loving Charles's company.

I mean, he's mad as a bag of badgers.

NEIL: His knowledge is phenomenal.

JJ: Yeah.

I mean, on any subject.

He's absolutely fantastic.

VO: Day two is good to go - once Neil and JJ get there, that is.

CHARLES: Ah, they're here!

Good morning, gents.

(HORN TOOTS) IZZIE: Hello!

NEIL: Hello!

CHARLES: Here in one piece.

JJ: What a ride.

CHARLES: That's the main thing.

CHARLES: How are you, partner?

IZZIE: Look at this, JJ.

NEIL: I'm alright.

IZZIE: Straight out.

I just have to unfold myself.

JJ: Yeah, I know.

NEIL: Out of there.

JJ: I'm very good, thank you.

Well rested and ready JJ: for another big day.

IZZIE: Good!

VO: There's just time for a quick sneak peak in each other's boots before setting off.

Well, here we are, rightly positioned by the all-important boots.

Yes!

The boots were made for making profits.

VO: Oh God, Charles, really?

What's inside, team?

JJ: Well... Quality.

CHARLES: Come on!

IZZIE: Quality.

CHARLES: Well, quality counts.

We found the tail end of this... needed weighed down slightly, just to get more traction, so we bought this hunk of metal.

CHARLES: Oh, wow!

NEIL: My goodness.

CHARLES: Go on, give me a hand.

NEIL: Shall I?

JJ: Between the two of you.

NEIL: Actually... CHARLES: Yeah.

It's nice and charming, isn't it?

It is nice.

So I expect you paid about 25 quid for that or something?

IZZIE: Yeah.

Yeah, we did, yeah.

JJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

JJ: Something like that.

IZZIE: Exactly.

They wanted 130 for it and they gave us it for 85.

I think that's OK. Yeah.

CHARLES: What's under the blanket, guys?

IZZIE: Oh... cheeky!

CHARLES: Nothing else?

JJ: That's it.

CHARLES: Is it...

Hold on.

NEIL: That's... CHARLES: Is that it?

We're pacing ourselves, shall we say?

VO: With the sign as their only purchase, JJ and Izzie have £315 for the day ahead.

So come on, then, you two.

What have you bought?

Ooh!

Look at that little puppy.

IZZIE: Ooh!

(RATTLING) NEIL: And listen.

And what it is, it's a teething...

It's for a soother, what they're called.

So... And, actually, in the mother-of-pearl, you can feel the patina of young teeth.

CHARLES: And what's nice, it has got age, Izzie, as well.

It's not new.

It is London hallmarked.

CHARLES: It shakes, it rattles.

NEIL: Yeah.

CHARLES: It's going to roll.

NEIL: Yeah.

Hey!

NEIL: He's on it today!

CHARLES: It's gonna roll!

VO: Please make him come off it.

Er, JJ, what's it worth?

JJ: Erm... 30 quid?

NEIL: You know?

CHARLES: Yeah.

JJ: You got it for 30?

No, we got it for less than that.

CHARLES: It cost us... Was it £20?

NEIL: £20.

CHARLES: £20.

VO: Neil and Charles also bought the vase, coffee set, the monkey and the Parker pen yesterday, leaving them with £180 to play with today.

Well, as charming as this chat is, we haven't got time.

JJ: Yeah.

IZZIE: We need to go and IZZIE: do some shopping.

JJ: Right.

I'll hold on to this.

No, I don't think so!

Give us our teddy.

And dare we say, guys, ready teddy, you'd better go.

VO: Hanson, enough!

IZZIE: See you later!

CHARLES: See you, bye bye.

Drive safely.

VO: Get your motors running and head out onto the highway - day two of the Road Trip is go, go, go!

VO: JJ and Izzie are looking for adventure, but what are they thinking about Neil and Charles's items?

JJ: I've got to say, I really did like the teether.

Is that because you can really relate to it, having young kids?

Well, literally, my son is starting to teethe.

But what he gets now is just a little plasticky thing that's made in China and costs... IZZIE: Yes.

JJ: ..a penny to make.

Whereas that's... You know, that's silver, that's... IZZIE: Yes.

JJ: It's lovely.

And surely it's going to make a little bit of money.

Oh, it should definitely make them a profit.

I'd be very surprised if it didn't.

VO: Well, enough of the jaw-jaw and on with the buy-buy.

JJ and Izzie have now crossed the county lines from Cheshire into Staffordshire, home of the Potteries.

And their first shop in Stoke is even named after a former pottery site.

JJ: We've kind of got our work cut out, don't we?

Cuz they're well ahead of us in the stakes.

They certainly are, but look, we're at an emporium, got to be finds here.

VO: That's the spirit, Izzie.

IZZIE: Thank you very much.

(BELL RINGS) It's got a ring to it.

(BELL RINGS) JJ: Terrible.

Terrible.

(IZZIE CHUCKLES) VO: Leave the jokes to me, JJ.

Oh, look at this, do you reckon this is an original piece?

(SHE CHUCKLES) What is that, actually?

Oh, you keep your CDs and tapes.

Keep your CDs.

Maybe he would throw the tapes and CDs in if we bought this.

It is actually quite cool.

JJ: Does it have a price on it?

No, it doesn't look like it does.

It's completely mental, it's got loads of wear to it.

Actually, who on Earth would want it?

But is it so cool and random, that... Would it make money?

Do you know what, I kind of would love to see Neil's face.

VO: So that's a peculiar definitely maybe.

Ha-ha!

Now, what else?

Izzie?

Yeah?

Look at these chaps.

These...

The reason I picked this up, my gran used to have these things, but they are worth something, aren't they?

Yes.

These are Beswick.

And we are in Beswick country at the moment.

Stoke-on-Trent, the Potteries, and they're really well known for their animals.

VO: The ticket price on the darker one is £35, and the palomino is 50.

Out of the two, this is the more desirable color.

IZZIE: This is... JJ: Oh, really?

They will have made fewer of these, they'll have been more expensive... JJ: Ooh.

IZZIE: ..to buy.

However, don't get too excited.

There's a little chip there and there's little loss of color here.

And I mean, is that one of those things that, you know, it means a little bit of money off, or does it mean actually you're going to get in trouble in auction anyway, so steer clear of it?

Hm, that's a difficult one.

Now, if he'd had his ear actually cut off and reglued, yes, I would be advising that we do not buy.

It is a tiny, tiny little chip, and it definitely will affect the value, so it's 100% a bargaining tool.

Hm.

It strikes me this is kind of a sensible purchase.

IZZIE: Yes.

And then the sarcophagus is madness.

IZZIE: A silly purchase.

JJ: But why not?

Yesterday I was terrified about the haggle, but actually this is a little bit more exciting.

I have every faith in you - you've got this one.

VO: Ha-ha!

Time to talk numbers with John.

JOHN: Hello.

IZZIE: Hello.

JJ: Hello John.

JOHN: Hello.

Erm, we've picked out a couple of things that we might want to take.

IZZIE: That one was 50, this one's 35.

Yeah.

But... Ooh!

JJ: Oh no.

IZZIE: We don't want it, I've just noticed something!

You know what I was saying about ears?

Oh, it has come off and they've stuck it back on.

VO: Well spotted, Izzie.

So this makes the decision much easier now.

Right.

It's...

It's all on this one.

All on this.

That one?

Yes, all on you.

Can we do him for 25?

JJ: No.

JOHN: Not a chance?

JOHN: No, sorry.

JJ: 30?

JOHN: No, 40.

IZZIE: Oh.

JJ: 40?

JOHN: 40.

40, yeah.

And would you meet in the middle?

35?

Alright, yeah.

You've talked me into it.

Oh, you're a gent.

VO: £35 for the Palomino.

Now, what about King Tut?

It's certainly not an antique, but it is a bit of fun.

Erm, he's not got a price on it, has he?

IZZIE: He doesn't.

JJ: We haven't seen one.

IZZIE: We have no idea what... JOHN: 150.

IZZIE: (GASPS) JJ: Oh!

IZZIE: Oh!

Hm, no.

He was just gonna... We weren't expecting that, were we?

We weren't.

What would be the absolute very best, rock bottom that you could go on this?

JOHN: 100.

IZZIE: That's your absolute...

There's no more off that?

JOHN: No.

JJ: Yeah, we'll take him.

JOHN: Alright.

JJ: We'll take him.

I'll be sorry to see it go.

Thank you very much, we'll shake your hand.

Thank you very, very much.

Thank you very much.

VO: So that's £135 for both, leaving them with £180 left to spend.

Time to trot on.

JJ: Now Neil can get off his high horse.

IZZIE: Ah, ha-ha!

JJ: Terrible, terrible.

I know.

VO: Elsewhere in the Potteries, it's time for local lad Neil to take a trip down memory lane.

When I was 15, 16, maybe, I worked in every single department of a pottery factory.

CHARLES: I'm taking you on a small detour to take you back.

CHARLES: I'll say no more, but... Oh!

..you'll enjoy getting potty all over again!

(NEIL CHUCKLES) VO: For Neil's potty time, they've come a few miles outside Stoke to Burslem.

They're meeting Mel Hancock, an expert in one of the most collectable of all the pottery brands, Moorcroft.

Yes, the make of vase Neil and Charles bought yesterday.

NEIL: Melanie, why exactly is this area called the Potteries?

MEL: There's obviously been a great supply of coal, clay and fresh water for hundreds of years.

And this has provided the perfect conditions for people to make pottery in the area.

But it wasn't until, really, the 17th and 18th centuries that big players came along, such as Wedgwood and Spode.

VO: But here in Burslem in the 19th century, it was local lad William Moorcroft who led the way.

Employed first as a designer at local firm James Macintyre, he made a name for himself with his vibrant Aurelian Ware designs.

And with his pioneering approach to branding, he stuck his signature on the bottom of every pot he made.

But tensions with his employer meant that Moorcroft left Macintyre's and moved from one side of the town to the other.

Mel, what inspired Moorcroft to go on his own?

By signing the pot on the base, he began to build up a reputation with people worldwide - some big names, Tiffany and Liberty.

So that by the time that 1913 came, he was able to actually walk across the park here and set up his own business.

VO: And Moorcroft didn't go alone.

He took the whole Macintyre art department with him, as depicted on this commemorative pot celebrating the firm's centenary.

Melanie, standing in front of three amazing pots here, but what makes these kind of designs typical?

MEL: They demonstrate the vast amount of shapes, and size of shapes, that Moorcroft come in.

Also, rich colors.

Metallic oxide colors really stand out in the glaze and bring that depth of color, almost like stained glass.

VO: Moorcroft really made his name with this, Florian Ware, whilst at James Macintyre.

He used a previous rare method of applying decoration by hand, called slip trailing or tube lining.

This leaves raised decorative lines on the pottery surface.

William will have learnt about the art of slip trailing while he was at Macintyre, but he developed it himself with the use of a rubber bag and a glass nozzle to create this textured surface, which is what we're still famous for today.

So it gives it a really rich, textured surface.

MEL: And it's not really like... NEIL: And it's tactile.

That's one thing... Yeah, you want to pick it up.

..you won't be able to get at home - you want to feel that.

MEL: You want to handle it.

NEIL: You want to handle it.

VO: Moorcroft's designs, inspired by nature, and the rich colored glazes he created, were a huge success.

But after the war, he adapted with the times.

MEL: He began to broaden his horizons in terms of design.

So we started seeing landscapes and sort of moody scenes from him.

VO: Moorcroft's success came from his ability to innovate, and he continued to pioneer new techniques throughout the 1920s and '30s before passing away in 1945.

But the Moorcroft brand, built on William's signature, thrives on to this day.

Now it's time for Neil to go back to his roots.

Our Potteries boy is going to have a go at the technique that Moorcroft pioneered, tube lining.

And he's got the very lovely Gill to help him.

GILL: So are you gonna have a go?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll have a go.

This is what we're using.

NEIL: Yeah.

GILL: This is a tube-lining bag.

NEIL: Oh, yeah.

GILL: And it's made of rubber.

Yeah.

And it's got a glass tube with a really fine hole in the end.

Yeah.

That's liquid clay you've got inside.

Those three fingers are gonna be squeezing.

NEIL: Those are my squeezers?

GILL: Yeah.

GILL: Them two are direction.

(HE WAILS) VO: Go on, Neil, give it a squeeze.

I'll have a go.

Hard squeeze.

CHARLES: Just ebb and flow, Neil.

NEIL: Oh, my goodness.

CHARLES: Think of it as a... GILL: You tend not to breathe as well.

I don't think this one will sell.

VO: Ha-ha!

It's a bit shaky.

Do you know what?

Looking at Neil now, he's almost in a trance.

Neil, are you OK?

It takes some concentration.

It's alright, it's alright.

NEIL: And do you know what?

CHARLES: Keep your head down.

I'm constantly trying to make it better.

VO: Hm, there's certainly room for improvement there.

I'm gonna dedicate this piece...

Yes.

..to you, Charles Hanson.

Neil, you know, I'm really welling up, now, Neil.

VO: I knew there was a bromance brewing.

The final line.

Here we go.

NEIL: OK. CHARLES: He's done it.

GILL: Excellent.

NEIL: OK, finished.

And then... there we are.

What do you think?

I think you've done really well.

CHARLES: Would he get the job?

Would it be Neil "Tuber" Morrissey?

I don't think it would be, Neil.

CHARLES: Oh!

Really?

Are you being serious?

But... That wasn't the ending we wanted.

NEIL: No.

CHARLES: Look at him!

No, you know what, though?

But we would keep your CV on file.

Yeah, brilliant.

That's fantastic.

I think we ought to really leave it to the experts.

GILL: It is really good.

CHARLES: Yeah.

VO: Er, quite.

And on that note, what are JJ and Izzie up to?

JJ, would you describe yourself as a competitive person?

JJ: Well, I mean, most people in the military are, by their very nature.

I don't like beating other people, but I do like winning, if that makes sense.

Yes.

I feel like we're having to catch up now.

But actually, that's no bad thing cuz we're gonna catch them and we're gonna beat them.

Yes we are.

VO: That's fighting talk.

Well let's see how you get on in the Cheshire town of Congleton.

Ah, here we go - antique and collector center, restaurant and coffee shop as well.

JJ: Don't mind if I do.

IZZIE: Very important.

Um, also, your favorite - looks like another four floors.

Oh, yes.

It looks like a proper antique shop.

VO: Certainly does.

This place used to be a ribbon-weaving factory and, today, houses artists' studios as well as selling antiques.

Of a Korean vintage.

There we go.

A little large.

Kind of just want to put pineapples on my head.

There's nothing above me, is there?

I don't know why - that's a very weird thing to do!

But... VO: Enough of your nonsense now, you two.

This isn't a game, you know.

In a game of Antiques Road Trip bingo, you've got to get a trinket just to tick that box.

Do people like these?

Well, I mean, it's not, strictly speaking, a trinket box.

It's a snuffbox.

Oh, lovely.

Yes, in answer to your question.

Snuffboxes are collectable.

It's modeled as a shoe.

I mean, snuffboxes, they can just be rectangular shapes.

JJ: Yeah.

IZZIE: So we've got a bit of novelty going on here.

VO: This Victorian piece of carved wood, or treen as it's known, has a ticket price of £38.

OK.

I have actually seen one of these before and it sold for £50.

So there might be a small profit in there, just.

JJ: Right.

It feels kind of safe.

So why don't we just get something safe in the bag?

IZZIE: OK. JJ: Alright, go for it?

I'm happy.

Yep.

Cool.

Yes!

Another one down.

JJ: Nice one.

IZZIE: Whoo!

VO: Well, that was quick.

Now, what are our other free-dealing duo up to?

They've come across Staffordshire to Leek... ..a town proud of its historic links to its textile past.

Their final shop is in Odeon Antiques.

Nice things.

After you.

Yeah, that's quite a nice thing there.

Do we go for a nice map?

Because actually what you've got here is Derbyshire, spelt with a D-A and this, in style, is a hand-tinted map and it goes back to probably around 1690.

And it's quite rightly signed here - here's your cartographer, Robert Morden, published in London by these boys here.

I was born in Stafford.

So is this... That's part of Stafford Shire.

Uttoxeter is right by here.

So, I'm...

I was born more north.

Problem is, it's not 1690 - it's more like early 20th century.

Oh.

It's a very nice, late... not reproduction, but just a copy.

Even though it's got no price tag on, it just isn't really what you would hope it might be.

It is pretty, it's nice, but I think for today, considering the lots we've already got, it's a no for today.

Fine, OK. Fair enough.

VO: Back in Congleton, are JJ and Izzie on the route to another buy yet?

Izzie?

Mm?

Look at this.

Hear me out.

This is silver, isn't it?

Looks it from here.

Yeah.

So after seeing Neil's little teether this morning, I kind of just felt like we need something like that.

We need a little piece of silver.

It's like a tea caddy, isn't it?

IZZIE: It's a caddy spoon.

JJ: Yeah, yeah.

What's good about this one - well done, you, it's Danish.

And pretty much anything Scandinavian at the moment is really hot, really in fashion, particularly silver, jewelry, small things like that.

It's made by...

I...

I mean, I'm probably going to pronounce it all wrong because I don't speak Danish, but it's made by Sorensens Horsens.

VO: Sorensen Hor-sens is the correct pronunciation, I think.

This lovely little 1930s art-nouveau spoon is priced at £35.

I sold a spoon similar...

So it was bigger but a similar spoon, for I think, £80 or thereabouts.

JJ: Really?

IZZIE: So it is a caddy spoon.

So maybe, you know, £50 to £80.

What, really?

I genuinely really like this.

It's something I would buy.

It's something I would choose.

Well, that's it.

I think at very least...

I mean, it's different, but it rivals Neil's little teether, I think.

I like this more than their teether.

Right.

Well, on that alone... Let's go and buy it.

VO: Another quick decision.

Bravo!

Time to see Kate.

Kate, we've made some choices.

I've got some little, what I call trinkets, little bits and pieces.

I think we're gonna take these.

Yeah, lovely choices there.

VO: With a modest ticket price for the spoon of £35 and the snuffbox at 38, JJ is giving the haggle a miss this time.

I can do that one for 30 and that one for 34 if it helps you.

JJ: Really?

KATE: Yeah.

That's amazing!

We weren't even gonna haggle.

JJ: Oh, that's so lovely.

Thank you.

Thank you very, very much.

KATE: And that comes to 64, please.

Get the money.

64.

Five.

VO: That's all the shopping over for JJ and Izzie.

Oh!

All done.

Job done!

Happy with that.

VO: But Neil and Charles are still looking for that final humdinger.

Hey, look at that.

That, Neil, is a World War II British Zuckerman steel helmet dated 1941.

Isn't that incredible?

Looks like the original lining, too.

Probably wasn't used.

Probably Home Guard, eh?

I'd have thought so.

And I've got the American helmet as well.

There you go.

You know what, Neil?

I say, I say, Yankee.

Yeah.

Have you any, have you any silk slippers for my wife?

Neil, dare I say, we are about to do battle... with Izziemoto and JJ.

Come on, we're in the bunkers.

We're down below.

NEIL: Yeah!

VO: The American GI or M1 helmet is priced at £120, while the British Zuckerman helmet is £49.

Why was there difference in the design, though?

Was this just more simple to make?

That's more complex to make, isn't it?

Exactly right.

This obviously gives you more cover over the head as well, and this, I don't know, the brim...

I just don't know.

We were still going for the pith helmet style.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm hoping Mr Wonnacott, up above us, might now give us some voiceover.

Yeah.

Saying, "You stupid boys."

CHARLES: That's it.

VO: You stupid boys!

Whilst the American M1 is a combat helmet, Neil's Zuckerman was actually designed for civil defense - air-raid wardens and the like - not for combat.

Hence its lighter, simpler design, don't you know?

NEIL: I like it.

CHARLES: I do.

But I'm thinking, what would it go with?

Yeah.

And are we going to actually do no favors by putting together licorice allsorts that don't sit very well together?

NEIL: Exactly.

CHARLES: That's my concern.

VO: So, does that mean it's all over for today?

I think it might be time to... CHARLES: What's that?

NEIL: ..blow the whistle.

(WHISTLE BLOWS) CHARLES: That's it.

Bye.

See you, thank you.

VO: With the chaps giving up for today, that's full time for both our teams.

But JJ and Izzie are enjoying a bit of extra time with the Ferrari.

Who wouldn't?

Put the lights up now.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

JJ: Yeah!

IZZIE: Yeah!

JJ: Flick-up lights.

Flip-up lights in the tunnel.

Oh, that is a boyhood dream done.

VO: I wonder if another boyhood dream is winning at auction.

Well, we'll soon find out.

Nighty night.

It's auction day and for budgetary reasons - ha-ha!

- we've made our experts and celebrities all travel together like one big, happy family.

JJ: Are you comfortable in the back, kids?

CHARLES: Thank you, Dad.

IZZIE: Extremely.

Yes.

Dad, are we nearly there yet?

NEIL: And no singing!

JJ: Ha-ha!

CHARLES: I want some sweets.

NEIL: No singing in the back.

Dad, need a wee.

I need a wee!

I want some sweets.

VO: How are our celebrities feeling about the auction?

JJ: My only experience of an auction was going to one as a kid, and just being really terrified of flinching or putting my hand up.

And all of a sudden my mum and dad have to buy Faberge eggs.

VO: I don't think there's any Faberge eggs at today's auction, in the charming little market town of Penkridge.

VO: The auctioneers today are Cuttlestones.

Watch out for the day-trippers.

JJ: Right.

NEIL: There we are.

CHARLES: Here we go.

NEIL: Hang on, I'll let you out.

IZZIE: Now the real fun starts.

NEIL: En avant!

CHARLES: May the best team win.

JJ: Oh!

NEIL: Here we go.

JJ: Thank you, sir.

I'm not even in first.

There we go.

VO: Oh, come on, Charles, just get inside.

VO: Izzie and JJ spent £284 on five lots.

What will Charles and Neil make of their snuffbox?

Here we are, look.

CHARLES: That's nice.

NEIL: That is cute.

A little... What do you think of that?

That's really sweet.

Well, in style, Neil, that's a Dutch clog.

NEIL: Yeah.

CHARLES: And what I love - look at that handle.

How it was just marked and scarred.

Yes.

Where it's just rested over 200 years.

Only cost them £34.

That was cheap.

NEIL: Very nice.

CHARLES: There we go.

Mm, good.

VO: Neil and Charles spent £215 on their lots, including that gorgeous Moorcroft vase.

That is actually really quite lovely.

So, it's got the signatures on the bottom.

It's a nice early one, as well, early 20th century.

How much do you reckon they got it for?

Normally, these sorts of items, in antique shops, they're priced at between £200 and £300.

So, even with a bit of negotiating, it's still got to be in three figures.

I mean, obviously, they spent a lot on it, but, you know, they might make a lot on it.

Let's hope not.

It's a nice thing.

VO: It is a nice thing.

Who says five?

VO: Auctioneer Ben Gamble has cast his eyes over the buys.

What does he think will see a handsome profit?

BEN: So, we've got a very typical Staffordshire piece, a palomino, Beswick.

Good color, you normally tend to see brown all day long, so the fact it is a palomino, and condition looks fantastic.

So, yeah, being in Staffordshire, it's got a half chance of doing pretty well.

So, this is one of the most interesting lots we've seen for a while, the monkey.

It's something quirky.

I've just got a feeling that this really could fly.

VO: I don't think monkeys fly much, do they?

Time for our buyers to get ready in person, over the phone, and on the internet.

IZZIE: Well, this is it, lads.

NEIL: Yeah, good luck.

You too.

VO: Well, let's get going.

Here's JJ's cast-iron sign.

Will it make more than 40 shillings?

Let's start it in at £15.

On 15, I'm bid 18.

20.

Two.

CHARLES: It's going to move.

No, it's 22 at the back.

Five, fresh money.

Eight.

30.

32.

No?

32's at the back of the room.

Who says five?

We're a long way off, aren't we?

BEN: At 32, at the back and selling... BEN: And done at 32.

IZZIE: No!

No!

Damn it.

Well, they got themselves a bargain.

VO: Ouch!

The penalty there was a lot more than 40 shillings.

Someone got a bargain.

VO: Will someone else get a bargain on Neil and Charles's monkey?

£15, at £15.

That money bid, there, £15.

Who says 18?

On the net.

CHARLES: Yes, the net's in!

BEN: At £18, at 18, who's 20?

At 20 bid.

You're out online, be quick now.

Come on.

Come on, monkey!

We shall sell.

All done.

Out on the net there at £20.

(GAVEL) Oh!

Dash!

VO: I'd like to say it went for peanuts, but 20 quid isn't bad.

It's a funny old game.

Trust me, a long way to go.

VO: Next, it's Izzie and JJ's lovely little Victorian clog snuffbox.

£10 bid and 12, in the room.

CHARLES: It's very naive.

BEN: 15.

18.

Oh, it's going.

It's worth more than this.

BEN: He's thinking.

At 18, in the room.

Away and selling and... IZZIE: It's so cheap.

BEN: ..done there at 18.

Do you know, that snuffbox was not made for walking at auction.

VO: Oh, that's another loss for those two and a terrible pun.

JJ: I thought it was gonna make a modest profit.

You know what?

That was a lovely little thing.

IZZIE: It was.

VO: Time for the teether.

Let's see if it rattles up a profit.

The internet's trying to start me at £8, but I'll start at 22.

CHARLES: Yes!

BEN: At 22, I'm bid there, at 22.

You're out online, at 22.

Five now.

At £22, it's bid five, in the room.

I'm out at 25, room bid.

NEIL: Easily worth that.

CHARLES: Beautiful.

At 25 there.

Eight are we?

We're selling, done, finished, at £25.

IZZIE: That's cheap.

That was 25.

That is cheap.

VO: It was cheap, but a profit is a profit.

I'd have had that for 25.

Mind you, we got it for 20.

So that's not too bad.

No, exactly.

VO: Now, it's the Danish silver spoon that JJ spotted.

12 on the net.

Before the room, I'm 15.

Internet 18.

IZZIE: All day long.

NEIL: Oh, it's coming up.

At £18 bid, 22.

At 25.

CHARLES: Go on Izzie!

BEN: 28.

Come on, we need more.

30.

One on the net, there, at £30 bid.

Keep going, keep going!

Finished and done and gone at £30.

Oh, unlucky!

Wiped its face.

VO: Well, at least it wasn't another loss.

We're not quite in the green on that one, but, you know, at least we're not in the red.

CHARLES: Yeah!

NEIL: Yeah.

VO: Can Neil's Parker pen write its own check?

BEN: At £20 I'm bid.

BEN: Two if you like.

CHARLES: Go on.

IZZIE: I love a Parker pen.

BEN: 22.

CHARLES: Good man.

Good man.

BEN: Five.

BEN: Eight.

CHARLES: Good lad.

30, no?

£30.

32.

35.

No?

35's the bid there, we're done and selling at £35.

CHARLES: There we go.

I think that's alright.

No, no.

That's... You've got to be happy with that.

And it's made its money.

VO: Another profit for Neil and Charles.

That was all your work.

You saw it...

I did.

..you delivered a profit.

VO: This should be interesting.

It's the sarcophagus minus any CDs and tapes.

And we'll start it at a very generous bid of £5.

Oh!

BEN: Eight.

CHARLES: It's the tomb!

On the internet at £8.

10.

(IZZIE GASPS) In the room at £10.

Dig for gold!

Horrendous!

18, sir?

18.

CHARLES: Are you in the money?

IZZIE: We are.

JJ: Oh, no, we're not.

CHARLES: You're in the money?

IZZIE: A long way off.

25.

BEN: 28.

30.

IZZIE: Oh!

32.

35.

38.

40.

Five.

BEN: Five, are you sure, seated?

JJ: Come on!

IZZIE: Please keep going!

We're done and selling at 45.

Oh, JJ!

VO: Oh, Mummy.

That was a disaster.

We bought it for 100 quid.

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: Next, it's the art-deco coffee set.

But there's a catch.

It came out of the cabinet, we'd bought it already, suddenly found out - massive chip in the cup.

Like a Jaws bite.

Completely missed it.

10 bid.

At £10, who says 12?

12, 15, 18, 20.

I hope they've had a good feel of it.

It's gorgeous, madam, like you.

NEIL: Hand-painted... BEN: 22.

CHARLES: ..gorgeous.

BEN: Five.

BEN: Eight.

30.

CHARLES: Go on.

No?

£30.

£30.

CHARLES: One for the road.

CHARLES: Oh!

NEIL: 30?

VO: That crack may have cost them a profit.

You two broke that cup, didn't you?

We did it on purpose, to give you a chance.

VO: Now, it's the final furlong and Izzie and JJ's palomino.

£8 bid.

10 standing.

12.

Keep in the saddle.

Keep riding.

BEN: 15.

18, 20.

IZZIE: This is so cheap!

CHARLES: Change gear.

BEN: Two.

BEN: Five.

IZZIE: Come on.

BEN: Eight.

CHARLES: Give him the money!

No, he says.

It's on the net, there, at 20.

Going there at 28.

CHARLES: So unlucky!

NEIL: Lost again!

We are so unlucky!

VO: Oh, dear.

The horse didn't come home a winner.

Just look at his face.

VO: The Moorcroft vase is Neil and Charles's last lot.

NEIL: Here it is.

That is gorgeous.

CHARLES: Thank you very much.

At £50 bid, five.

60.

Five.

70.

He's got commission, hasn't he?

80.

85.

90.

Five.

BEN: 100.

110.

Got it.

Got it.

BEN: 120.

NEIL: Yeah.

130 on the net, I'm out at 130.

Come on!

Wonderful.

At 130, I'm bid now.

It's beautiful.

It is worth more than this.

It's on the net and I shall sell.

Done, dusted at 130.

(GAVEL) That was... That was cheap.

That was a snip.

VO: A small profit - but on this trip, that could make all the difference.

Well, that's it.

It's over.

All comes down, guys, to me crunching some numbers.

Come on, come on.

I think I know what's going to happen here.

Me too.

VO: Time to do the sums and see who's come out on top.

JJ and Izzie started with £400 and after auction costs made a loss of £158.54, leaving them with £241.46.

Neil and Charles made a profit on most of their items, but after auction costs and fees made a modest loss of £18.20, leaving them £381.80 in their piggy - making them today's winners.

(THEY CHUCKLE) JJ: Right, right.

CHARLES: Unlucky!

But it was close!

Well done to you, mate.

Well done.

It was a pleasure.

I will give you one last spin, alright?

Jump in.

You make yourselves comfortable.

We'll drive you round.

JJ: Hold on.

CHARLES: Give a honk for memories.

Oh.

(HORN HONKS) NEIL: Let's go and find some oatcakes.

Oatcakes and Staffordshire ale.

CHARLES: Hooray!

VO: Sounds good to me.

And a fun day was had by all.

I'm no sore loser.

I'm going to say congratulations, lads.

CHARLES: Thank you.

JJ: You... IZZIE: Definitely.

CHARLES: Thank you very much.

IZZIE: Well done, you two!

I hate to gloat, but, um, here's me gloating.

Do you?

But you're so good at it.

VO: Until next time, cheery-bye.

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