THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS OFTEN PORTRAYED AS A TIME OF JOY AND CELEBRATION.

AND WHILE THAT'S TRUE FOR A LOT OF FOLKS, IT CAN ALSO BRING SIGNIFICANT STRESS.

BETWEEN THE PRESSURE TO BUY GIFTS, ATTEND FAMILY GATHERINGS OR OVER-INDULGE IN MEALS, MANY PEOPLE FEEL OVERWHELMED RATHER THAN FESTIVE.

WE'RE ASKING EXPERTS HOW WE CAN SET BOUNDRIES AND MANAGE EXPECTATIONS FOR A CALMER HOLIDAY SEASON.

TONIGHT'S LIVE BROADCAST AND LIVESTREAM OF INSIGHTS ON PBS HAWAI'I START NOW.

♪ ♪ ALOHA AND WELCOME TO INSIGHTS ON PBS HAWAI'I.

I'M DARYL HUFF.

THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS HERE, STARTING WITH THANKSGIVING AND GOING THROUGH THE NEW YEAR.

WHILE IT'S MEANT TO BE A TIME TO CELEBRATE AND EXPRESS GRATITUDE, IT CAN ALSO BE VERY STRESSFUL.

SHOPPING, TRAVEL, HOSTING AND EVEN ATTENDING PARTIES CAN TAKE A TOLL ON OUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH.

THIS TIME OF YEAR CAN ALSO AMPLIFY EXISTING STRESSORS, ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE COPING WITH LOSS, LONELINESS OR TIGHT BUDGETS.

OTHER MONEY ISSUES.

TONIGHT WE'RE UNWRAPPING THE HOLIDAY SEASON, ASKING OUR PANEL HOW WE CAN ADDRESS AND MANAGE THE HOLIDAY HUSTLE.

WE LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR PARTICIPATION IN TONIGHT'S SHOW.

YOU CAN EMAIL OR CALL IN YOUR QUESTIONS, AND YOU'LL FIND A LIVE STREAM OF THIS PROGRAM AT PBSHAWAII.ORG AND THE PBS HAWAII YOUTUBE PAGE.

NOW, TO OUR GUESTS.

RONA YAGI FUKUMOTO IS THE PRESIDENT AND CEO OF LANAKILA PACIFIC.

THE NONPROFIT HELPS PEOPLE WITH COGNITIVE, PHYSICAL, SOCIAL OR AGE-RELATED CHALLENGES, BUILD THEIR INDEPENDENCE AND IMPROVE THEIR QUALITY OF LIFE.

ANISA WISEMAN IS THE DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF THE NATIONAL ALLIANCE ON MENTAL ILLNESS HAWAI'I CHAPTER, OR NAMI HAWAII.

SHE'S A FORMER SPECIAL EDUCATION TEACHER AND BUSINESS OWNER AND IS LIVING IN RECOVERY FROM POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER.

DR.

JENNY SATTERBERG IS HAWAI'I PACIFIC HEALTH'S CHIEF OF PRIMARY CARE FOR NORTH AND CENTRAL O'AHU.

SHE IS BOARD-CERTIFIED IN FAMILY AND OBESITY MEDICINE AND CREATED A WEIGHT MANAGEMENT CLASS FOR PATIENTS THAT SHE HAS RUN AND TAUGHT FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS.

AND BRYAN YUCOCO LEADS HAWAIIUSA FEDERAL CREDIT UNION'S FINANCIAL WELLNESS AND COMMUNITY OUTREACH PROGRAMS.

HE WORKS CLOSELY WITH SCHOOLS, STUDENTS AND COMMUNITY PARTNERS TO BRING REAL-WORLD FINANCIAL EDUCATION INTO CLASSROOMS.

ARE YOU ALL HAVE INDIVIDUAL EXPERTISE THAT WE REALLY APPRECIATE.

ALSO, YOU ALL HAVE FAMILIES AND OTHER CHALLENGE TH AND LET ME START WITH YOU.

WHAT THINGS DO YOU WORRY ABOUT GOING INTO THE HOLIDAYS FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR OWN FAMILY?

>> FOR ME, IT DOES PERTAIN TO EATING, SO I'M GOING TO OREGON NEXT WEEK TO GO HOME TO SEE MY FAMILY AND THAT'S WHERE I'M FROM, BUT I'M JUST WORRIED ABOUT NEED TO GO EAT ALL THE THINGS WHEN I'M THERE.

AND THEN OF COURSE, ALL GIFTS YOU GET THAT ARE FOOD RELATED KIND OF LIKE THAT OVER EATING DURING THE HOLIDAYS.

I WILL DEFINITELY BE WORKING ON THAT.

>> WE'LL TALK MORE ABOUT HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT LATER ON IN THE SHOW.

ANISA WISEMAN FOR YOU, WHAT KIND OF THINGS GO THROUGH YOUR MIND WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO PREPARE FOR THESE HOLIDAYS.

>> RIGHT NOW, MY MOM JUST LOST HER DOG OF 14 YEARS LAST WEEK.

I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WAYS TO SUPPORT HER AS SHE GOES THROUGH HER GRIEF JOURNEY ESPECIALLY THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS.

>>Daryl: RONA YAGI FUKUMOTO.

>> I THINK IT'S ALL ABOUT BALANCE.

SO BUSY AT WORK, I'M OLDEST DAUGHTER AND NEED TO GET ALL THE TRADITIONS DONE AND MY MOTOR HAS DEMENTIA.

WHOLE LOT GOING ON.

MY BEING ABLE TO BALANCE EVERYTHING.

>>Daryl: BRIAN, IS IT FINANCIAL ISSUE FOR YOU?

YOU MUST HAVE YOUR FINANCES FIGURED OUT?

>> STOI SOMETIMES WE DO.

SOMETIMES WE DON'T.

ONE OF THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE THAT I FORESEE TRYING TO STAY WITHIN A BUDGET.

HOLIDAYS OBLIGATION AND SO FORTH TEMPTING TO GO AHEAD AND KIND OF GO OUTSIDE WHAT YOU PLANNED TO PURCHASE.

SO FOR ME THAT'S THE BIGGEST THING.

BECAUSE IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, START SPENDING NOW AND THEN JANUARY, WHEN THAT BILL COMES, ARE YOU PREPARED FOR PAYING THAT OFF?

>>Daryl: IT IS SHOCKING TO ME HOW MUCH MONEY PEOPLE SPEND ON HOLIDAYS.

WHAT IS THE TRICK?

>> THE TRICK, HOPEFULLY, YOU CAN PREPARE AHEAD OF TIME.

CREATE A BUDGET AND ESSENTIALLY PLAN OUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SPEND FOR EACH INDIVIDUAL.

MAKE A LIST.

AND STICK TO THAT.

THAT'S PROBABLY T HARDEST THING TO DO.

IF YOU'RE LIKE ANY REGULAR PERSON WALKS INTO COSTCO AND SEES A DEAL, ALL GO AHEAD AND PICK THAT UP AND THROW IT IN THE CART.

ABOUT HAVING SELF-CONTROL COMES TO PEN SPENDING FOR THING.

>>Daryl: ANYBODY ELSE LOOK AT MONEY AS AN ISSUE.

>> DEFINITELY.

>>Daryl: YOU MENTIONED BEING OLDEST DAUGHTER.

WE ALL HAVE OUR CULTURAL PRECIOUS TOO.

TELL ME ABOUT THAT IS LIKE FOR YOU?

>> JUST GETTING FAMILY TOGETHER.

CREATING THE MENU MAKING SURE EVERYONE IS.

>>Daryl: AT YOUR HOUSE.

>> IT IS AT MY HOUSE.

MULTIGENERATIONAL FAMILY.

I USED TO CALL IT THE COMPOUND.

SO COME OVER.

NOT A HUGE FAMILY, BUT HAVE TO CLEAN.

HAVE TO HELP WITH THE COOKING.

I DON'T COOK.

SO THANKFULLY THAT IS NOT.

>>Daryl: YOU DON'T COOK BY RULE OR BECAUSE YOU DON'T COOK?

>> I HAVE A DAD AWESOME COOK AND HAVING HIM TEACH ME WAS REALLY HARD.

THE PATIENCE INVOLVED.

A LOT TO GO DURING THE HOLIDAYS.

>>Daryl: YOU MENTIONED YOUR MOM'S CHALLENGE.

YOU'RE WITH NAMI HAWAII WHAT KIND OF ISSUES DO PEOPLE RUN INTO IN HOLIDAYS WHERE THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY NEED TO GET HELP?

>> HOLIDAYS IS A GREAT TIME FOR A LACRO CRISIS TO HAPPEN.

A LOT OF CRISES COME UP DURING THE HOLIDAYS BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE THE FINANCES IN ORDER BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT SUPPORT BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE WHY DOES THIS PERSON GET TO GO TO THIS THANKSGIVING AND WHY I DON'T HAVE PEOPLE TO GO TO THANKSGIVING WITH?

FEEL LEFT OUT.

A LOT OF CHALLENGES THAT COME WITH THE HOLIDAY.

THAT PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO NAVIGATE AND IT'S TOUGH.

>>Daryl: YOU MENTIONED EATING AND YOU HAVE A PROGRAM.

WHAT IS YOUR ADVICE FOR PEOPLE HAVING TO FACE THAT?

EVERY OFFICE HAS FOOD ON THE COUNTER.

BAKIBAKING FOOD.

FOOD IS A BIG PART OF THE HOLIDAYS.

>> DEFINITELY.

TRY TO COUNSEL THEM REALLY BIG CHUNK OF TIME.

ALMOST QUARTER OF THE YEAR.

THAT POTENTIALLY COULD JUST BE EATING WAY TOO MUCH AND INDULGING.

SO REALLY HAVE TO GO INTO IT WITH MINDFULNESS AND ALSO PREPLANNING KIND OF LIKE HOW YOU WOULD WITH A BUDGET.

WE HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WHAT OUR INTENTIONS ARE WHEN WE'RE GOING INTO THE HOLIDAYS.

AND KIND OF HAVE A PLAN BEFORE EVERY EVENT THAT WE GO TO.

>>Daryl: CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT THAT?

I MEAN, I'M A KIND OF YOU JUST TAKE IT AS COMES KIND OF GUY.

PUTS SOMETHING IN FRONT OF ME.

TAKE A BITE.

WHAT KIND OF DISCIPLINE TRICKS ARE THERE FOR AVOIDING THAT?

>> SO IN OUR CLASS, THAT I TEACH AT HPH, ONE OF THE THINGS WE TEACH ABOUT IS HOLIDAY AND TRAVEL PLAN THAT PERSON WOULD MAKE IF THEY'RE WORKING ON THEIR WEIGHT.

THINGS THAT THEY WOULD THINK ABOUT ARE WHAT DO I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS EVENT?

IS IT REALLY JUST TO EAT AND SWALLOW FOOD NEXT TO MY LOVED ONE?

IT'S PROBABLY NOT.

THERE'S PROBABLY A LOT OF OTHER THINGS THAT YOU'RE HOPING TO ENJOY.

WHAT IS YOUR GOAL AT THE END OF IT?

DO YOU WANT TO GAIN WEIGHT AT THE END OF THE HOLIDAYS?

DO YOU WANT TO MAINTAIN?

DO YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT?

DO YOU WANT TO HAVE YOUR DIABETES WELL CONTROLLED?

SO YOU HAVE TO KIND OF THINK DOWN THE ROAD TOO WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT AND THEN WE TEACH ABOUT, ENVISIONING ALL THE OBSTACLES LIKEEL YOUR AUNTY PUTTING EXTRA SECOND ON YOUR PLATE OR SOMEONE OFFERING YOU SOMETHING.

BRIAN TALKING ABOUT EARLIER PEOPLE PRESSURING YOU TO EAT.

IF YOU KIND OF ENVISION IT IN ADVANCE AND HAVE A PLAN FOR WHAT YOU MIGHT SAY, IT MAKES IT MUCH EASIER IN THE MOMENT.

EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO SET THOSE BOUNDARY, AND SAY NO, THAT'S OKAY.

>>Daryl: YOU MENTIONED BRIAN, YOU'RE FILIPINO ANCESTRY.

SO FOOD IS A HUGE PART OF THAT CULTURE.

>> HUGE.

>>Daryl: AND THEN HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS FOOD BEING PUT IN FRONT OF YOU AND ARE YOU SOMETIMES GUILTY OF PROVIDING TOO MUCH FOOD YOURSELF?

>> WELL, CULTURALLY, YES.

VEGUILTY PROVIDING A LOT OF FOOD.

ONE OF THE THINGS WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF, IF YOU DO IT MODERATION, IF SOMEBODY SAYS, HEY, YOU GOT TO EAT SOME OF THIS, TAKE A SMALL PORTION.

BUT DON'T OVER INDULGE.

I MYSELF TALKING ABOUT DIABETES AND SO FORTH.

THANK GOD I DO DON'T HAVE IT BUT ONE OF THE THINGS I'M MINDFUL IS MAKING SURE THAT MY SUGAR LEVEL IS PRETTY GOOD.

AND SO JUST LETTING PEOPLE KNOW THAT IS NOT SOMETHING I'M REALLY WANTING TO EAT RIGHT NOW.

>>Daryl: GOT THIS QUESTION FROM NAIL NNAIGHTD AN OKAY TO LU KNOW PEOPLE TO KNOW NOT TO GIVE YOU SWEETS FOR THE HOLIDAY.

A LOT OF PEOPLE TAKE THE TIME TO MAKE THE FOOD THEMSELVES.

>> HAWAII CULTURE FOOD IS LOVE.

ADD STRESS OF, HAVING TO NOT, EXPLAIN TO THEM AND IT BEING ABLE TO DEAL WITH SOME OF THAT PERSONAL INTERACTION ABOUT THIS IS MY SIGNATURE DISH FROM AUNTY AND PLEASE TAKE A BITE.

KEEP PUSHING IT.

I THINK IT'S YOU NEED TO PLAN AND YOU NEED TO I THINK HAVE SOME EXAMPLES OR REASONS WHY.

IT'S N NOT AS EASY A AS IT SEEMS TO TURN DOWN FOOD.

>> DONE IT COUPLE OF TIMES.

IN THE OFFICE PEOPLE BRING IN SWEETS I LOVE TO TRY IT BUT I'M TRYING TO MAKE SURE THAT I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO A POSITION WHERE I'M NOT GOING TO BE GOOD WITH MY HEALTH.

A LOT OF PEOPLE VERY UNDERSTANDING ABOUT THAT.

ESPECIALLY HERE IN HAWAII.

A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE HEALTH ISSUES WHEN IT COMES TO OR OVER EATING WHATEVER HAVE YOU.

DIABETES.

SO I THINK PEOPLE ARE PRETTY OKAY WITH IT.

WON'T NECESSARILY GET UPSET OR MAYBE AS MENTIONED JUST TAKE A LITTLE BITE OF IT AND SAY, HEY, JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE TASTE.

>>Daryl: AN ISA HOW BIG IS YOUR FAMILY?

YOU SAY YOUR MOM IS WITH YOUR MOM AND.

>> AND MY GRANDMA AND AUNTY AN LITTLE COUSINS.

USUALLY GET TOGETHER AND MY UNCLE FOR CHRISTMAS AND WE HAVE A LITTLE GET TOGETHER.

USUALLY IF SOMEBODY COMES TO YOU WITH FOOD, IF I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE, NOT HUNGRY RIGHT NOW I MIGHT JUST SAY, I CAN HAVE LIKE A LITTLE TASTE BUT THAT'S IT.

THEN I'LL HAVE THE LITTLE TASTE AND THEM HOW GOOD IT IS.

TALKING ABOUT BOUNDARIES USE STATEMENTS.

YOU SHOULD DO THIS OR YOU DO THAT, IT'S NOT RECEIVED WELL.

I TRY TO MAKE SURE I USE AN EYE STAND ISTATEMENT SO IT'S ABT THE OTHER PERSON.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE I CAN EAT A LOT RIGHT NOW BUT HAPPY TO TAKE A LITTLE TASTE.

>>Daryl: INTERESTING HOW WE TALK TO EACH OTHER RUIN A WHOLE PARTY SAYING THE WRONG THING.

ANOTHER ONE FOR PEOPLE HOST PARTIES, TRADITIONAL HOLIDAY FOOD IS FINE ACTUALLY GREAT.

BUT PERHAPS PEOPLE CAN OFFER ALTERNATIVES.

NOT SING ABOUT FOR YOU.

NOT SO FATTENING.

ET CETERA.

NOT SO BAD FOR YOU.

IS THAT SOMETHING YOU HELP PEOPLE WITH IN YOUR INSTRUCTION.

>> DEFINITELY.

TALK ABOUT HEALTHY FOODS TO EAT AND WAY TO INCORPORATE TRADITIONAL FOODS BUT STILL TO MAYBE MAKE IT SLIGHTLY HELE HELL HELM THINKER VERSION.

IT IS OKAY -- HEALTHIER VERSION.

EDITH KANAKAOLE TO ENJOY FOOD.

TAKING SMALLER PORTION AND.

>>LISA: ENDING TO OUR BODY AND KNOWING WHEN TO STOP.

LISTENING TO OUR BODY.

BEING ABLE TO STILL ENJOY THOSE FOODS.

>>Daryl: INTERESTING HOW ALL YOU WOULD DEAL WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

COMMENT ABOUT USING I STATEMENTS.

WHAT IS IT, HOW ABOUT WHEN YOUR SPOUSE OR YOUR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS NEEDS TO BE GUARDRAILED OR PROTECTED, WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE SOMEONE MIGHT BE DRINKING TOO MUCH.

OR FEEL LIKE SOMEONE MIGHTING BE EASY TOO MUCH.

ANY IDEAS FOR HOW TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON IN YOUR LIFE?

>> EVERYBODY IS LIKE, HUH.

>> JUST CURIOUS.

DOCTOR, YOUR JOB IS GIVING PEOPLE ADVICE.

>> I MEAN ONE OF THE THINGS WE TEACH IN OUR CLASS AS WELL IS THAT WE CAN'T CONTROL ANYONE ELSE'S B BEHAVIOR AND THEIR THOUGHTS EMOTIONS.

ONLY CONTROL OUR OWN.

SO WE CAN SHOW UP WITH LOVE AND COMPASSION FOR THAT PERSON.

BUT WE CAN'T NECESSARILY BASE OUR OWN WELL-BEING ON WHAT THEY ARE DOING.

BUT DEFINITELY WE CAN SHOW UP BY PROVIDING THEM WITH SUPPORT DURING THOSE TIMES.

>> IF WHAT THEY'RE DOING STARTS INFRINGE ON YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES AND MAKE YOU FEEL UNSAFE, IMPORTANT TO SPEAK OUT AND THAT'S WHAT WAIMANALO GULONE OF THOSE EYESTATEMENTS C. SOMEONE DRINKING REALLY LOUD MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

I FEEL REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS SITUATION.

SPEAKING TO LOUD.

I HAVE TO REMOVE MYSELF NOT ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON.

WHAT YOU FEEL SAFE.

BOUNDARIES HUMAN BEHAVIOR.

ONE SIDE NO HARM.

OTHER SIDE THERE IS.

NOT ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON.

BUT AND WHAT YOU NEED TO KEEP YYOURSELF SAFE MOTIONLY AND PHYSICALLY IN THE MOMENT.

>>Daryl: I'M HEARING A LOT OFFER PLANNING, PLANNING, PLANNING.

WHEN YOU'RE DEALING WITH SPOUSE OR KIDS, AND GOING TO GO TO AN EVENT, HOW DO WE TALK ABOUT WHAT IS GOING TO BE APPROPRIATE, WHAT WE'RE EXPECTING?

>> OF OUR OWN FAMILY MEMBERS LIKE IF MY WIFE TELLS ME I DON'TANT WHAT YOU TO DRINK TOO MUCH TONIGHT.

I WANT TO FEEL SAFE DRIVING HOME.

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

HOW MUCH SHOULD WE BE DOING THAT?

IN ADVANCE OF AN EVENT?

A TACTIC WORTHWHILE?

>> I WOULD SAY YES.

WE GET IN THE CAR GOING SOMEPLACE, ALWAYS KIND OF DO BRIEFING BEFORE THE EVENT.

OKAY, SO THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO.

SO FORTH.

AND THIS IS HOW LONG WE PLAN TO STAY.

SO GIVES EVERYBODY AN IDEA OF WHAT THEY'RE GOING INTO.

OR WHATNOT.

ESPECIALLY IF IT'S LIKE EVENT THAT WE DON'T NORMALLY GO TO.

GIVING THEM A HEADS UP AND SO FORTH.

COMING UP WITH A KIND OF A LITTLE BIT OF GAME PLAN.

FIGURING OUT OKAY, YOU MENTIONED, I'M NOT GOING TO DRINK ANYTHING TONIGHT.

I'M GOING TO BE SOBER.

WHATNOT.

OTHER HALF, CAN YOU KIND OF DO YOUR THING.

JUST LAYING IT OUT AND BEING TRANSPARENT.

THAT'S PROBABLY THE BEST DEAL.

>>Daryl: INTERESTED IN YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT.

PREPLANNING THAT KIND OF STUFF.

SETTING BOUNDARIES IN ADVANCE.

>> YEAH.

PREVENTION IS KEY TO PREVENTING ANY TYPE OF CRISIS.

OR ANY TYPE OF ISSUE AND REALLY IT'S PREPARING FOR THE HOLIDAYS SEASON SHOULD COME ALL YEAR LONG.

I TALK ABOUT STRESS.

MY FAVORITE WAY TO TALK ABOUT STRESS IS STRESS BUCKET.

ALL OF THIS WATER GOING IN.

AND I KNOW WHEN MY STRESS BUCKET IS GETTING TOO FILLED UP WITH ALL THE LITTLE THINGS START TO BORE ME.

ALL OF THESE LITTLE THINGS DON'T NORMALLY BOAT BOA BE BOTH.

THERE IS PEOPLE WALKING AROUND A LOT OF WATER IN THEIR BUCKET.

MAYBE JUST LOST SOMEONE THEY LOVE.

STRUGGLING WITH KID.

HAVING RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS ALL THE LITTLE THINGS ARE GOING TO BOATER THEM.

BOATER THEM.

LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER TO MAKE SPACE FOR EACH OTHER HAVE BAD MOODS WE'RE NOT ALWAYS IN GOOD MOODS AND SO OUR LOVED ONES AREN'T ALWAYS IN GOOD MOOD EITHER.

WE NEED TO MAKE SPACE FOR THAT.

>>Daryl: YOU MENTIONED IN YOUR, NONPROFIT, LANAKILA YOU GUYS ACTUALLY HAVE TO RAMP UP YOUR WORK DURING THE HOLIDAYS.

HOW DO YOU BALANCE THAT HAVING TO DEAL WITH FAMILY EVENTS, THESE STRESSERS AND EXPECTATIONS WHILE WORKING HARDER THAN YOU USUALLY DO?

>> PEOPLE NONPROFITS SECTOR, CHOOSE A PROFESSION TO SERVE.

EVERYONE WANTS TO BE THERE.

EVERYONE WANTS TO MAKE IF GOOD HOLIDAY SEASON FOR US, SENIORS WE SERVE.

PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES.

SO I THINK WE DRAW SOME HAPPINESS FROM THAT.

JOY FROM THAT.

SO AS FAR AS QUESTIONS, BALANCING THAT WITH YOUR FAMILY.

I TAKE MY KIDS.

I BRING MY KIDS IN THEY HELP IT TO VOLUNTEER.

DONE THAT FOR A WHILE.

TRYING TO MODEL WHAT WE EXPECT AND PREPLAN.

>>Daryl: HOW OLD ARE THE KID EVERYONE ONE IS 16 AND ONE IS 26.

MY DAUGHTER O OF THE LOOP NOW.

IN THE MAINLAND.

NOT COMING HOME.

>>Daryl: FOUND THAT INTERESTING.

REMINDS ME THAT MAYBE ONE OF THE WAYS THAT LETTING STRESS OUT OF YOUR BUCKET DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

GOOD WAY OF SAYING IT.

ONE OF THE WAYS TO GET SOME SOCIAL INTERACTION AND BE A PART OF SOMEONE ELSE'S MEALS ON WHEELS RECIPIENTS ONLY WAY THEY GET IT TALK TO SOMEONE ON HOLIDAY IT'S.

VERY IMPORTANT FOR TO US DLDELIVER A MEAL HOLIDAY AND CHRISTMAS.

>> MOM GETS MEALS ON WHEELS, FAMILY MEMBER TAKES SO MUCH LOAD OFF OF ME DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MAKING A MEAL SHE'S GETTING FED GOOD NUTRITIOUS MEAL.

JUST BECAUSE THE INDIVIDUAL IS IN IN CRISIS DOESN'T MEAN FAMILY IS NOT IN CRISIS.

WHOLE FAMILY THING.

GRATEFUL FOR THE THINGS YOU GUYS DO.

>>Daryl: WHAT OTHER PLACES PEOPLE LOOK FOR THOSE OPPORTUNITIES?

MEALS ON WHEELS LANAKILA NOT THE ONLY THING YOU DO.

YOU DO OTHER THINGS TOO.

RIGHT?

>> YES.

MEALS ON WHEELS IS PROBABLY THE LARGEST HOLIDAY.

>>Daryl: IF PEOPLE COULD CALL YOU UP AND SAY WE WANT TO COME DOWN AND HELP, THAT'S OPPORTUNITY.

>> WE WERE VERY FORTUNATE I BELIEVE WE'RE JUST ABOUT FULL WITH VOLUNTEERS.

AT LEAST THANKSGIVING.

I KNOW SALVATION ARMY HAS A HUGE EVENT AND THEY NEED A LOT OF VOLUNTEERS.

HAWAII MEAL ON WHEELS ANOTHER PROVIDER.

SO THERE ARE A LOCH ORGANIZATIONS.

I WANT TO SAY A LOT OF ORGANIZATION.

CALL 211 ALOHA UNITED WAY 211 COULD PROBABLY,.

>>Daryl: HOOK YOU UP WITH A VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY.

>> YEAH.

>>Daryl: SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA.

>> YEAH.

>>Daryl: IT'S ALL I HAVE TO DO THIS, I HAVE TO DO THIS.

I HAVE TO DO THIS.

WITHOUT HAVING THAT OPPORTUNITY TO REALLY GIVE.

RIGHT.

>> I DO HAVE A QUESTION THAT KIND OF GOES DIRECTLY INTO BRIAN'S WHEELHOUSE HERE.

WHEN IS THE BEST TIME TO START PLANNING O I HOLIDAY BUDGET?

RARELY THINK ABOUT IT UNTIL THE HOLIDAYS ARE UPON US.

ANSWER THAT QUESTION, BUT ALSO, WHAT IS TRICKS FOR NOT SPENDING THAT MONEY?

IT'S IMPULSIVE.

>> IT IS IMPULSIVE.

FOR YOUR FIRST PART OF QUESTION, IT'S PROBABLY BEST TO START SAVING AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.

>> JANUARY.

>>Daryl: LEFT THE ROOM FOR ME.

>> YOU GO INTO TRIAGE.

AGAIN, BEING INTENTFUL WITH YOUR SPENDINGMENT INTENTFUL WITH WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO PURCHASE.

AND INTENTFUL ON HOW MUCH YOU'RE GOING TO SPEND ON EACH INDIVIDUAL.

AND STICKING TO THAT PLAN.

PROBABLY THE BEST THING I WOULD RECOMMEND IS WRITING EVERYTHING OUT.

AND THEN STICKING TO THAT LIST.

MAKING SURE WHEN YOU'RE OUT THERE SHOPPING, CHECK.

I GOT THAT.

CHECK.

I GOT THIS THAT DO I NEED THAT THAT'S NOT ON LIST.

DON'T DO IT AND BEING VERY INTENTFUL IN THAT.

>>Daryl: SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE.

SORRY.

>> THAT'S GREAT.

LIKE ANYTHING, IN BEGINNING GOING TO BE A CHALLENGE.

GOING TO BE DIFFICULT.

BUT OVER TIME, WITH PRACTICE AND SO FORTH, WITH THE INTENT BEHIND IT, YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF FOLLOWING THESE PATHS.

MOTHER OF I USED TO BE A SHOPPER.

AND SO I'VE TAKEN.

>>Daryl: SHOPPER?

>> YES.

>>Daryl: PROFESSIONAL SHOPPER EVERYBODY I USED TO SPEND MONEYER.

ICE TO DO SPEND SOME MONEY I USED TO SPEND SOME MONEY.

TANG YOURSELF OUT OF THAT SITUATION.

>>Daryl: I'VE SEEN A LOT OF PEOPLE IN DEEP MONEY TROUBLE.

>> YES.

ONE OF THE THINGS WE TALK ABOUT WHEN SOMEBODY IS DEEP MONEY TROUBLE OR SAYING THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR MONEY IS GOING FIRST AND FOREMOST?

IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN IDEA OF WHERE THAT'S GOING, THAT'S WHERE YOU START.

>>Daryl: YOU MIGHT FIND SOMETHING THERE YOU DIDN'T REALLY REALIZE.

>> WE CREATURES OF HABIT.

NOT TO KNOCK THE COFFEE GUYS, BUT YOU KNOW, A LOT OF FOLKS SAY I NEED MY MORNING STARBUCKS.

AND SO IS THAT SOMETHING THAT IS NECESSARY?

A LOT OF IT IS A WANT.

>>Daryl: WE WERE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION BEFORE THE SHOW.

ERIC WRITES GOING TO A PARTY OR GATHERING HERE OR THERE IS FINE.

BUT YOU MAY GET MULTIPLE INVITATIONS.

DIFFICULT TO SAY NO.

BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO FEEL COMFORTABLE SAYING NO.

WE ALL LIKE A PARTY BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO GO TO ALL OF THEM.

LET ME HEAR ALL OF YOUR SUGGESTIONS FOR SAYING NO.

WHY DON'T YOU START.

HOW DO YOU SAY NO?

SEEM LIKE A SUCH A REALLY NICE PERSON.

OVERLAP EASIEST WAY.

RESCUJUST SAY NO TO ONE.

HONESTLY, I HAVEN'T REALLY SAID NO.

>> MAYBE WRITING DOWN A SCHEDULE.

MAKING SURE THERE IS BLOCKERS OF TIME OR BLOCKS OF TIME OR DAYS DAY THAT HE WITH TAKE OFF TO CREATE A BARRIER I HAVEN'T TRIED TO BUT LINKS LISTENING TOL OF YOU PREPLAN.

>>Daryl: PREPLAN?

ANY OTHER THOUGHTS ABOUT THE BEST WAY?

>> I IMURVE MYSELF MARGINS OR WAIT TO SAY YES TO SOMETHING.

FAMILY DOING SOMETHING TOMORROW NIGHT.

DO YOU WANT TO COME?

I HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE HOW TONIGHT GOES AND HOW I'M FEELING TOMORROW.

MAKE A DECISION THEN.

SOMETIMES I MIGHT POSTPONE MAKING A DECISION BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I NEED MARGINS.

AND THAT SOMETIMES AFTER CERTAIN EVENTS I NEED MORE TIME TO MYSELF.

AND I NEED TO SEE HOW I'M FILMING.

>>Daryl: OKAY TO SAY I HOW I'M FEELING.

>>Daryl: OKAY TO SAY I HAVE TO SEE THU THINGS ARE GOING TO DAY I DON'T KNOW.

TOTALLY OKAY TO SAY THAT.

I THINK SAME THING.

PAUSE WHEN YOU GET ASKED VERSUS WHEN YOU SAY YES, IS REALLY HELPFUL BECAUSE YOU KIND OF WANT THAT INSTANTANEOUS DOPAMINE HIT OF SAYING YES TO ANYTHING.

>>Daryl: FEEL EXCITED PEOPLE PLEASING.

>> FEELS GOOD BUT STEP BACK AND THINK WHAT I DO I NEED RIGHT NOW.

SOMETHING I'VE BEEN WORK ON LAST COUPLE OF YEARS.

SETTING BOUNDARIES ESPECIALLY WITH BEING A DOCTOR AND CONSTANTLY BEING ASKED A LOT OF ME.

I HAVE TO JUST LEARN WHERE TO SET THOSE BOUNDARIES.

>> SOMETIMES DISAPPOINT PEOPLE AND BEING OKAY WITH LETTING THEM HAVE THEIR OWN EMOTIONS.

AND THAT'S HARD BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER.

>> OKAY IF SOMEBODY DOESN'T LIKE YOU.

>> YES.

>>Daryl: AT LEAST FOR A MOMENT OF.

>> ALSO NEED TO KNOW IT YOURSELF.

I ALWAYS FEEL STRESSED OUT ABOUT SAYING YES BUT AFTER THE OVER, TVRs LIKE SO WORTH GOING TO.

IT WAS SO WORTH GOING TO LEARN OVER EASTER YEARS THAT'S ME.

I WILL SAY YES TO EVERYTHING IN IF IT TAKES MORE FROM YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO SAY NO.

>> TALK ALONG THOSE LINES MAKING SURE YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST.

AND I USED TO GO TO EVERYTHING.

LITERALLY EVERYTHING INVITED.

I WOULD BE THERE FOR MAYBE HALF AN HOUR.

>>Daryl: BIG FAMILY HERE.

>> NOT A BIG FAMILY BUT A LOT OF FRIEND GROUPS.

SO YOU GO TO ONE PLACE AND STOP AT ANOTHER PLACE AND SO FORTH.

YOU HAVE MULTIPLE STOPS.

BUT OVER TIME, US YOU'VE COME TO PRIORITIZE WHICH EVENTS TO GO TO.

ESPECIALLY IN THE FAMILY EVENTS.

>>Daryl: YOU MENTIONED THAT YOUR DAD GREAT COOK AND YOU DON'T COOK.

DOES HE END UP JUST DOING HIS THING AND MAYBE THAT'S HIS -- NOT SAYING PERSONALLY BUT I MEAN, FOR ME, I USUALLY MAKE THE THANKSGIVING DINNER.

SO I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GETTING INVITED TO A BUNCH OF PLACES I'M BUSY.

MAKE THANKSGIVING DINNER.

DO YOU THINK FOR HIM, THAT'S HIS HAPPINESS?

>> I THINK SO.

QUESTION.

MAKING THE DINNER FEEDING FAMILY.

FOOD IS IMPORTANT TO HIM.

SO YOU NEED TO KNOW YOURSELF.

I THINK EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW THEMSELVES AND THEIR BOUNDARIES.

>> SOMETHING I SAW ANOTHER FAMILY IMPLEMENT THIS YEAR WHICH I THOUGHT WAS REALLY INTERESTING.

>> HAD A HOLIDAY MEETING AND THEY WENT OVER WITH THE KIDS.

OKAY, WHAT IS GOOD.

WHAT MEMORIES DO YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU MAKE THIS YEAR?

ALL HAD BUCK LIST.

THROUGH THE HOLIDAY SEASON MAKE HOT KAKO CHOCOLATE.

BUILD GINGERBREAD HOUSE.

CLEAR WHAT GOALS WERE FAMILIAR HOLIDAY SEASON TO ACCOMPLISH THEM AS A FAMILY.

VERY POWERFUL.

GREAT I WASHINGTON I DO -- GREAO RELEASE STRESS.

KIDS KNOW WHAT'S PLAN EMPHASIS COMING NEXT.

PARENTS KNOW.

PLANNING AND PLAN FOR ITAPPROPR.

>>Daryl: HAVING A FLASHBACK.

2:00 IN THE MORNING BUILDING TRICYCLE AND ALL OF THAT ST STUFF.

TO ME, THAT WAS GREAT JOY.

BUT OH, MY GOD, SO EXHAUSTING.

I WONDERING, PEOPLE GET SO TIRED.

>> YEAH.

>> HOW DO YOU COPE WITH BEING SO TIRED?

>> ANSWER FOR THAT.

I MEAN, DEFINITELY I DOER COUNCIL PEOPLE THAT SLEEP IS SO HUGE.

FOR OUR HEALTH AND MOST PEOPLE THAT I SEE DO NOT GET ENOUGH SLEEP.

AND SLEEP IS ALSO.

>>Daryl: REGULAR TIME.

>> YEAH.

REALLY IMPORTANT ALSO FOR OUR WEIGHT.

OUR HOW MUCH WE EAT.

BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY CONTROLS A LOT OF OUR HUNGER H HORMONES.

GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP IS SUPER IMPORTANT.

7 TO THE HOURS FOR ADULTS.

7 TO 9 HOURS.

FOR ADULTS NO WAY I CAN GET THAT.

>>Daryl: HOW DO YOU KEEP WITH EXPECTATIONS FOR YOUR CHILDREN?

DO YOU BUILD UP EXPECTATIONS BY DOING IN A?

I LOVE THE FAMILY MEETING IDEA BUT I YOU KNOW, WE HAVEN'T TALKED MUCH ABOUT HAVING LITTLE KIDS.

HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH IT, WHAT WAS YOUR STRATEGY WITH YOUR KIDS KIND OF BIG DIFFERENCE IN AGE APART.

>> YES.

SO.

>>Daryl: MADE THE OLD ONE HELP THE YOUNG ONE?

>> TRY NOT TO.

I'M SURE SHE'LL SAY I DID.

>>Daryl: WE'LL GET HER OWN THE SHOW.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

HONESTLY JUST GET THROUGH IT I THINK WITH LITTLE I KIDS.

YOU ENJOY TRICYCLE TO THEM, YOU'RE TIRED.

BUT YOU HAVE TMEMORIES.

>> STILL TALK HOLIDAY MEETING I TALKED TO PRESCHOOL BEFORE.

THEY STILL MAYBE NOT WORDS OR PICTURES.

CHOOSING WHAT THEY WANT TO DO FROM PICTURES AND NOT VERBALLY.

>>Daryl: EMPOWERING.

KIDS TOLD WHAT TO DO.

>> EXACTLY.

PUT A BUNCH OF PICTURE IN FRONT OF THEM.

DIFFERENT ACTIVITIES CHOOSE.

YOU SAID YOU WANTED DO THIS.

WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS TODAY.

JUST DO THIS THE SAME HOLIDAY PLANNINGEL JUST TALK TO THEM A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT.

>> I THINK IF CONSISTENT.

EVERY YEAR YOU GO THROUGH THIS PLANNING PROCESS.

IT BECOMES LIKE A TRADITION.

PART OF A HOLIDAYS.

>> AND THEN THEY EXPECT IT.

THINK IT WORKS OUT BETTER AS 'GROW OLDER.

>>Daryl: ABSOLUTELY.

FOREOUR FAMILY, HONOLULU HALE CHRISTMAS LIGHT AND SO FORTH.

SO THAT'S SOMETHING THAT WE CONSISTENTLY DO DRIVE THROUGH.

MAKING SURE WE SEE ALL THE LIGHTS AND SO FORTH.

THAT'S BEEN CONSISTENT SINCE KIDS WERE VERY YOUNG.

MAKING SURE THAT THAT TRADITION KIND OF STICKS IN.

MEETING YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF DOING SOMETHING WITH THE FAMILY, BUT ALSO, CONTINUING SOME SORT OF LEGACY MOVING FORWARD.

>>Daryl: ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPENS IS LIFE HAPPENS.

SO THAT T TRADITION MAY NOT WORK ANY MORE WHEN THEY'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL NOT INTERESTED ANY MORE.

OR WHEN YOU HAVE LOST A FAMILY MEMBER.

THAT FAMILY MEMBER WAS ALWAYS PART OF YOUR TRADITION.

LET'S TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT DEALING WITH THE SERIOUS MENTAL CHALLENGE.

SHE'S CERTAINLY GOT THE CONNECTIONS AND EXPERIENCE.

WHAT AVAILABLE, HOW CAN YOU TELL IF SOMEONE, IN YOUR FAMILY, IS REALLY LOSING IT?

DOCTOR WHAT SHOULD WE DO IF WE THINK A FAMILY IS LOSING IT?

HOW DO WE COMFORT THEM OR HELP THEM.

HELP THINK IT'S IMPORTANT LISTEN TO THEM MAKE SURE THEY'RE STILL BEING HEARD.

988 GREAT RESOURCE.

911 FOR MENTAL HEALTH.

HELP FAMILIES INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS PRESENTS AND INDIVIDUALS.

REALIZE NOT ONLY INDIVIDUALS IN CRISIS FAMILY IS IN TOO.

INDIVIDUAL DOES NOT WANT TO C9988 FAMILY KA CALL GUIDED WHAT STEPS TO DO.

HELPFUL WITH RESOURCE AND OTHER AVENUES OF SUPPORT AS WELL.

ER N AMI ALSO HAVE SUPPORT GROUPS, FOR BOTH FAMILY MEMBERS WHO LOVE SOMEBODY WITH A MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION AND INDIVIDUALS THAT HAVE A MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION.

OR JUST DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE DIAGNOSED VERSUS HAVE TO IDENTIFY SOMEONE WITH MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION.

AND IT'S IMMEDIATE SAFE SPACE.

PEOPLE COME IN WOWS I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS OTHER PEOPLE STRUGGLING WITH WHAT I'M STRUGGLING WITH AND TO BE SEEN AND HEARD, VERY RAW HUMAN MOMENTS, MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

>>Daryl: I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON DEALING WITH ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER IN CRISIS OR EVEN WHEN YOUR OWN FEELINGS ARE OVERWHELMING.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

>> I MEAN, I AGREE.

SEEKING HELP AND SEEKING OTHER PEOPLE WHO MIGHT BE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING SIMILAR BEST APPROACH.

AND REACHING OUT TO SOMEONE IN THAT TIME.

>> IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO REACH OUT.

IN THAT JOURNEY YOU FEEL SO AAISOLATED SO ALONE.

NOBODY ELSE UNDERSTAND YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

PEOPLE UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE TO FIND THEM.

COME TO NAMI PROMISE WE'RE GOING TAKE CARE OF YOU.

WE KNOW THAT STRUGGLE.

ALL OF OUR PROGRAM LEADERS HAVE THE SAME LIVED EXPERIENCE.

>>Daryl: IS THERE PARTICULAR THINGS THAT AGAIN, FAMILY MEETING THING VERY INTERESTING CONCEPT.

DO A WHOLE SHOW OF FAMILY MEETS.

VERY INTERESTING.

WHEN YOU HAVE PERSON IN YOUR FAMILY WHO YOU KNOW IS SUFFERED FROM TRAUMA, MIGHT HAVE A HARD TIME IN HOLIDAYS, DISCUSSING IN ADVANCE, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

WHAT ARE YOU READY FOR?

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT EXACTLY.

BUT I'M JUST WONDERING IF THERE IS WAY TO TALK THROUGH THAT PERSON, YOU LOST YOUR MOM, THIS YEAR.

OR YOU LOST YOUR DOG COUPLE WEEKS AGO.

HOW CAN WE SUPPORT YOU?

IS THAT THE WAY TO APPROACH THAT?

>> YEAH.

OR SOMETIMES THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY NEED FOR SUPPORT.

SOMETIMES IT'S JUST DROPPING BAG OF GROCERIES OFFICER AT OFFR DOOR.

I THOUGHT OF YOU GOT THIS FOR YOU.

MY MOM KNEW REALLY STRUGGLING NOBODY NEW SHE WAS HAVING THAT PAIN.

TEXTED BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE.

MOM LOST HER DOG.

CAN YOU SEND HER A TEXT MESSAGE.

MADE ALL DIFFERENCE FOR HER.

WE DON'T HAVE TO SPEND MONEY TO SUPPORT THE PEOPLE THAT WE LOVE.

IF WE KNOW SOMEBODY STRUGGLING, REACH OUT TO OTHER PEOPLE THAT ALSO SUPPORT THEM.

AND HAVE THEM HELP YOU TO SUPPORT THAT INDIVIDUAL.

>> TAKES A VILLAGE.

>> YES.

YOU DON'T KA TO CARRY IT LONE.

IT'S TOO HEAVY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARRY IT ALONE.

NEED EACH OTHER.

COMMUNITY IS VERY IMPORTANT.

>>Daryl: WE DID GET A, INTERESTING CALLER.

ANTHONY.

THERE IS A LOT OF TALK ABOUT FOOD, PERHAPS AVOIDING IT DEPENDING WHAT IT IS AND VOLUME.

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE OPPOSITE PROBLEM.

IT'S NOT ENOUGH FOOD.

HOW CAN WE HELP THESE PEOPLE AND PEOPLE HELPING THOSE PEOPLE.

CIRCLE BACK TO THAT.

YOU MENTIONED, SOMEONE LIVING ALONE.

LET'S E IDENTIFY CHANCE TO BE KIND.

WHAT TUNES ARE THERE?

WE TALKED ABOUT SALVATION ARMY LANAKILA.

WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE?

>> I THINK FOOD BANK.

THEY HAVE WHOLE NETWORK OF NET FOODPANTRIES WOULD NEED VOLUNTEERS.

HAVE YOU THAT INTERACTION GIVE THE FOOD TO THE FAMILIES OR INDIVIDUALS WHO COME.

ALL ARE DIFFERENT BUT FIND ONE THAT FITS YOUR NEED AND YOUR LEVEL OF INTERACTION YOU WOULD LIKE.

>> ALSOEL SCHOOLS.

FOOD PANTRIES FOR THEIR STUDENTS.

LOOK INTO YOUR COMMUNITY SEE WHAT IS AROUND YOU WHAT IS AVAILABLE.

>> YEAH.

>>Daryl: FUN PART OF FAMILY MEETING.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS YEAR?

IT WHAT CHARITY ARE WE GOING TO DO.

>> CHECK IN ON YOUR NEIGHBOR.

DO YOU HAVE FOOD FOR THANKSGIVING.

CAN I PICK UP A TURKEY?

SOME LEFTOVERS SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE ESPECIALLY TANAKA BEING THESE FAFAMILIAR--TALKING ABOUT FAMILY GATHERING SO MUCH FOOD.

TAKE ANOTHER PLATE AND GIVE IT TO YOUR NEIGHBOR.

>>Daryl: ANOTHER CALLER.

GETTING A LOT OF CALLERS.

PEOPLE ARE ONE PERSON SAID, GREAT PANEL AND SUBJECT TONIGHT.

WHAT THE BEST WAY TO STICK TO MY HOLIDAY GIFT LIST ACTUALLY IN THE STORE OR SHOPPING ONLINE.

A LOT OF PEOPLE, WHAT GOOD STRATEGY FOR DEALING CAN COMING ACROSS DEAL THAT FEELS TOO GOOD TO GOOD TO PASS UP.

MICHELLE FROM EWA BEACH.

YOU'VE GOT YOUR LIST.

ANYBODY ELSE COME ACROSS THAT AND HOW DO YOU SAY NO?

WHAT DO YOU THINK.

>> I MEAN, ONE OF THE THINGS I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT IS IDEA SCARCITY AND HOW WE ALL GET INTO THIS IDEA OF SCARCITY WHEN WE'RE LIN HAVE TO GET THAT NOW.

NEVER GOING TO SEE THAT DEAL AGAIN.

HAVE TO EAT THAT NOW.

NEVER SEE THAT AGAIN.

THAT KIND OF THING.

REALLY SO MANY CHANCES THAT WE HAVE TO FIND THOSE GIFTS OR SEE THOSE DEALS OR HAVE THAT THING TO EAT.

WHATEVER IT IS.

BUT JUST THAT KIND OF LIKE REMEMBERING WE DON'T FOR THE MOST PEOPLE DON'T LIVE IN SCARCITY.

SO KIND OF LIKE, JUST RECOGNIZING THERE WILL ALWAYS BE OTHER OPPORTUNITIES TO FIND THOSE THINGS.

>> I THINK ONE OF TACTICS LIFE SHARED WITH I'VE SHARED WITH INDIVIDUALS IN THE PAST, PUT THAT IN YOUR CART.

WALK AROUND FOR MAYBE AN HOUR OR SO.

STILL GOING TO CONTINUE SHOPPING.

AND TAKE STOCK OF WHAT YOU GOT.

AND REALLY ASK YOURSELF THE QUESTION, IS THAT SOMETHING THAT I REALLY NEED TO GET.

>> AND REALLY THINK ABOUT IT.

OR IS IT JUST ONE OF THOSE LIKE YOU SAID, SCARCITY THINGS.

IT'S A DEAL.

I SHOULD GET DID BECAUSE IT'S A DEAL.

BUT THE REALITY IS IS THAT SOMETHING THAT IS GOING TO ADD JOY TO SOMEBODY'S LIFE POTENTIALLY GOING TO ADD MORE STRESS ON ME WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT PAYING THE BILLS A LITTLE BIT LATER ON IF YOU'RE GOING TO PUT IT ON YOUR CREDIT CARD.

>>Daryl: ALL KNOW PEOPLE CAN'T RESIST A GOOD DEAL.

ALL OF THESE DEALS PLACED IN FRONT OF YOU.

IT'S A CHALLENGE.

>> DON'T HAVE CHRISTMAS SHOP ONLY BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

YOU CAN CHRISTMAS SHOP ALL YEAR LONG.

THAT HELPS.

YOU DON'T HAVE THAT STRESS.

IT'S CHRISTMASTIME.

NO ALREADY DONE TMPLET DON'T HAVE TO WORRY.

DONE IT.

>>Daryl: AVOID CHRISTMAS SHOPPING THAT WOULD MAKE MY.

>> NOT AVOID IT.

PUT IN DIFFERENT TIMES OF THE YEAR.

>>Daryl: I HAVE COLLEAGUE THAT SHOPS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR.

AND SO BY THE TIME THANKSGIVING COMES AROUND, SHE DOES HER BLACK FRIDAY AND THEN DONE.

DISCO DOESN'T HAVE TO WORRYABOU.

WORRIES ABOUT THE PARTY.

YOU TAKE THAT STRESSOR AWAY BECAUSE AGAIN, PLANNED AHEAD.

MAKING SURE THAT YOU GOT YOUR LIST.

AGAIN, MAYBE ALSO HAVE THERE'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE THAT LIST MINUTE GIFT YOU NEED TO GET FOR A COLLEAGUE.

ALWAYS GOOD TO GET SOMETHING ON THE SIDE FOR JUST IN CASE.

>>Daryl: TALK ABOUT WORKPLACES.

THERE'S A LOT OF CHALLENGE IN THE WORK PLACE AT CHRISTMAS.

SOME WORK, IF YOU PLACES PEOPLE EACH OTHER GIFTS.

OTHER WORKPLACES HAVE A THE POTLUCK PARTY.

HOW DO WE GET AT THAT UNDER CONTROL?

WHAT IS YOUR THOUGHT?

YOU'RE A BOSS.

HOW DO YOU GET THAT UNDER CONTROL?

IS THIS SOMETHING THAT MANAGEMENT SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO.

>> I THINK IT IS SOMETHING.

WE HAVE PARTIES EVERY YEAR.

AND UNTIL ONE YEAR SHALL SOMEONE SAID I REALLY DON'T WANT TO PARTICIPATOR.

NOT SOMETHING THAT MADE THEM HAPPY.

MADE THEM VERY ANXIOUS.

AND I THINK SPECIFICALLY, WAS LIKE A SECRET SANTA.

EVENT.

IT WASN'T MONEY.

JUST NOT WANTING TO PARTICIPATE.

AND EVERYONE LIKE THE FOOD, PRESSURE, NO.

IT'S CHRISTMAS.

YOU HAVE TO.

WE NEED TO DO THIS.

I THINK WE HAVE TO MODEL THAT.

YOU NEED TAKE IT PERSON DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THERE.

AND IT'S JUST EXPECTATIONS.

SO AS THE BOSS, TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S OPTIONAL.

>>Daryl: DO YOU REGULATE THE FOOD THAT GETS PASSED OUT AT CHRISTMAS.

>> NOT AT ALL.

OUR WE'RE OVERFLOWING BECAUSE PATIENTS ARE SO AWESOME AND BRING US SO MUCH FOOD.

BUT I THINK REALLY, IT COME DOWN TO WE CAN'T CHANGE OUR ENVIRONMENT.

WE CAN'T CHANGE ALL THE FOOD AROUND US.

BUT WE CAN LEARN TO KIND OF LIKE PROCESS THOSE CRAVINGS BECAUSE THERE'S EVIDENCE THAT THE MORE WE GIVE IN TO CRAVING, THE MORE CRAVINGS YOU HAVE.

KIND OF LIKE THAT FEEDBACK LOOP.

SO IF WE CAN KIND OF LIKE PRACTICE NOT PARTAKING IN THOSE FOODS JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE IN FRONT OF US, REALLY IT WILL ACTUALLY BECOME MUCH MORE MANAGEABLE.

SO.

>>Daryl: I'M NOT A PARAGON OF WEIGHT CONTROL AT ALL.

BUT I DO HAVE KIND OF RULE FOR MYSELF.

FILL ONE PLATE.

THEN STOP.

AND I'LL HAVE ONE DESSERT.

THEN I'LL STOP.

OR I'LL HAVE A LITTLE PIECE OF ONE DESSERT.

THAT'S ABOUT THE ONLY DISCIPLINE THAT I CAN COME UP WITH.

I MEAN I THINK THAT IS HELPFUL SORT OF LIMIT TELL YOURSELF IN ADVANCE HOW MUCH YOU'RE GOING TO EAT.

>> YEAH.

I THINK ALSO, WHEN YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT THAT WAITING BEFORE YOU BUY THE THING THAT IS IN YOUR CART, ALSO, WHEN YOU'RE PASSING THROUGH THE BREAK ROOM AND THERE'S MOUNTAINS OF CANDY LIKE RIGHT NOW, LEFTOVER HALLOWEEN CAN BY EVERYWHERE.

SOMETIMES IN THERE, TWIX.

GRAB IT.

WAIT A MINUTE I DON'T ACTUALLY WANT THAT.

JUST LIKE IMPULSE.

HAVE THAT PAUSE BETWEEN WHEN YOU SEE IT AND WHEN YOU ACTUALLY EAT IT.

ONE STRATEGY I TEACH IS ACTUALLY TO PUT IT, TAKE IT WITH YOU, PUT IT AWAY, AND SAY I WILL HAVE THAT TOMORROW.

AND SOMETIMES YOUR BRAIN ACTUALLY JUST BECOMES LESS INTERESTED IN IT THAT DAY LATER.

JUST LIKE, YOU FORGET P ABOUT IT DELAYED KIND OF RESPONSE REALLY DOES HELP.

>>Daryl: YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT WORKPLACE STRESSES?

>> YOU KNOW, I'M LUCKY DON'T HAVE OUR HOLIDAY PARTY UNTIL AFTER T THE HOLIDAYS UNTIL JANUARY TIME BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A STRESSFUL TIME AND BOS RECOGNIZES THAT.

ANOTHER THING WE DO IS WE DO WHITE ELEPHANT GIFT.

BUT IT'S SOMETHING THAT WE DON'T WANT THAT WE GOT FOR CHRISTMAS.

SO MAYBE IT'S EXTRA CANDY.

OR MAYBE.

>>Daryl: WHITE ELEPHANT CHRISTMAS PARTY.

>> YEAH.

AND IT'S NICE.

BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT STRESS DURING THE HOLIDAYS.

MY BOSS PUT IS OFF FOR US AND THEN IT BECOMES FUN LATER BECAUSE WE GET TO REGIFT THINGS THAT ARE NOT GOOD FOR US BUT ARE GOOD FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.

>>Daryl: YOUR OWN, YOU'RE WORKPLACE TOO.

>> YES.

IN OUR DEPARTMENT, WE SET LIMITS.

SO IT'S LIKE.

OKAY, TEN DOLLARS IS THE LIMIT HERE AND.

>>Daryl: TEN DOLLARS?

>> YEAH.

>>Daryl: FOR EACH PERSON.

>> YES.

>>Daryl: YOU GIVE TEN DOLLARS GIFT TO EACH PERSON.

>> NO.

NOT PER PERSON.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE SECRET SANTA OR WHATNOT.

WE KIND OF LIMIT IT.

REMEMBER WE'RE NONPROFIT.

CREDIT UNION.

SO WE MAKE SURE THAT WE DON'T WANT TO PUT EACH OTHER OUT IN THE PASTURE SO TO TO SAY.

SPENDING MORE THAN WHEN WE NEED.

WE SET LIMITS.

POTLUCKS OR WHATNOT HAVE A LARGE GATHERING SO WE KNOW THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A MOUNTAIN OR ARMY OF FOOD.

IT'S SMALL ENOUGH PLATE WHERE FEED MAYBE FIVE TO SIX PEOPLE OR WHATNOT.

WE HAVE LIKE 30 PEOPLE PARTICIPATING.

AGAIN, REALLY HELPS TO KIND OF MANAGE THAT AND THEY SHARE WITH US WHAT WE SHOULD BRING.

>>Daryl: HOW DO YOU GUYS FEEL ABOUT THE MANAGED CORPORATE CHRISTMAS PARTIES?

USED TO, OLD DAYS, THERE WOULD BE THIS MASSIVE CHRISTMAS PARTY, ALL OF THIS ALCOHOL AND OFFICERS ROMANCE NEVER SUPPOSED TO HAWAII NEWS NOW HAWA SUDDEN.

IS THAT JUST GONE NOW?

I MEAN, IS THAT SO?

PEOPLE DON'T DRINK AT WORK AS MUCH AS THEY USED TO.

>> NONPROFIT.

>>Daryl: NO ONE HEAR PAYS EXCISE TAXES.

>> WE HAVE ONE EVERY SO OFTEN.

NOT CONSISTENT.

>>Daryl: NOT EVERY YEAR.

>> NOT EVERY YEAR.

SO I'VE BEEN WITH THE.

>>Daryl: GOOD YEAR YOU GUYS HAVE A PARTY?

BAD YEAR, YOU DON'T?

>> KIND OF ALL DEPENDS.

SO FOR FOCIALG.

FORGIVE.WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE .

>>Daryl: COMPANY'S BONUS POLICIES WILL AFFECT YOU HOLES TOO.

ANOTHER STRESS, HOLIDAYS.

FINANCIALLY, IF YOU'RE USED TO GETTING $3,000 BONUS, AND THIS YEAR, IT AIN'T HAPPENING.

WE HAVE A THEME HERE KIND OF INTERESTING.

SORT OF LIKE, TAKE A PAUSE.

BEFORE YOU ANSWER THAT PARTY.

INVITATION.

TAKE A PAUSE BEFORE YOU GO SHOPPING.

WITH THIS THING.

TAKE A PAUSE BEFORE YOU EAT SOMETHING.

I THINK REALLY INTERESTING.

>> WITH THIS BONUS, SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN'T NECESSARILY TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION.

IT'S JUST A PLAT MATTER IF YOU T IT, AWESOME.

YOU'RE THAT BETTER FOR IT LATER ON.

SETTING EXPECTATION OF RECEIVING SOMETHING WITHOUT IT BEING GUARANTEED PUT YOURSELF INTO NOT VERY GOOD SITUATION.

BEING REALISTIC WITH THINGS.

>>Daryl: I JUST RETOUCH ON SOME THINGS.

PEOPLE ARE JOINING SHOW.

CENTRAL PLACE TO CALL WHEN YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE?

DO THOSE EVEN EXIST?

>> 988.

>>Daryl: LITERALLY TELL ME ABOUT THAT.

LITERALLY A THERAPIST.

>> NOT A THERAPIST.

CRISIS WORKER.

SO THEY'LL LISTEN TO YOU HOOK YOU TOWN RESOURCES IF YOU NEED IT.

HOOK YOU UP TO RESOURCES.

IF SEND SOMEBODY OUT TO YOU AS WELL.

SO IT'S MOST A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW 988 EXISTS.

AMAZING RESOURCE.

I HOPE WE START TO USE IT MORE.

I USED IT MANY TIMES.

NOT ONLY FOR MYSELF HELPING OTHER F FAMILY MEMBERS.

GREAT PLACE FOR ME TO JUST HEY, AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?

OR I HAVE THIS GOING ON.

WHAT SHOULD I DO NEXT?

THEY CAN HELP TO GUIDE ME.

>>Daryl: REALLY?

>> YEAH.

GREAT RESOURCE.

IF YOU DON'T KNOW CALL 988.

READY TO HELP YOU.

>>Daryl: HERE'S INTERESTING QUESTION.

HOW DO WE AVOID REGRET?

AFTER THE HOLIDAYS?

TRIED AND TRUE METHOD?

MAYBE ALL OF THESE THINGS WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT DON'T MESS IT UP.

REALLY, AFTER HOLIDAYS, SOMETIMES YOU LOOK BACK AN GO, THIS THING HAPPENED.

AND.

>> YEAH.

I PAY A LOT OF ATTENTION TO THAT BECAUSE I SUFFER FROM THAT.

A LOT.

AND SO WHEN I MAKING DECISION, I LOOK AT BOTH PATHS.

AND I ACCEPT WHAT IS AT THE END.

PATH.

IF I CAN ACCEPT WHAT'S AT THE END OF THE PATH, THEN I GO FOR THE DECISION AND THEN I DON'T HAVE ANY REGRETS LATER BECAUSE I KIND OF LIKE PREPARED MYSELF AHEAD OF TIME.

THAT IS REALLY HELPFUL FOR ME.

I JUST OKAY.

IF I GO THIS WAY, THAT MEANS I MIGHT HAVE THIS.

I HAVE TO BE OKAY WITH THAT.

AM I OKAY WITH THAT?

NOT OKAY WITH THAT I GO TO GO TO THE OTHER PATH.

IF I CAN ACCEPT IT, THEN I DON'T HAVE RED REGRETS LATER.

>>Daryl: SO MUCH OF THIS CONVERSATION ABOUT IMPULSES CONTROL.

I THINK THAT'S FAIR QUESTION.

IF THE MAIN THING IMPULSES ACTED ON, OR FAILED TO ACT ON.

>> ADD TO THAT, THINK OF MY FUTURE SELF.

HOW DO I WANT TO FEEL AT THE END OF THIS NIGHT?

DO I WANT TO FEEL LIKE I ATE TOO MUCH DRANK TOO MUCH, SPENT TOO MUCH.

WHATEVER.

HOW DO I WANT TO FEEL AT THE END OF THE HOLIDAYS?

AND THEN MAKING THAT INTENTIONAL CHOICE RATHER THAN JUST WINGING IT.

THEN JUST BEING WITH YOURSELF AND SUPPORTING YOURSELF EVEN IF YOU DON'T MAKE THE BEST CHOICES.

BECAUSE THINGS HAPPEN.

AND WE'RE NEVER GOING TO BE PERFECT.

JUST KIND OF LIKE KNOWING ALWAYS GOT YOUR OWN BACK NO MATTER WHAT.

>> INTENTIONS ARE SO IMPORTANT.

BRAIN IS ALWAYS WIRED TO LOOK FOR PATTERNS.

IF WE SET INTENTION, BRAIN IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR HOW AM I GOING TO KEEP THAT INTENTION GOING.

AND IT JUST THAT MINDFULNESS IS SO HELPFUL INTENTIONS.

>>Daryl: I THINK THAT OTHER THING WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT INTENTIONALITY, EXPECTATIONS THAT ARE OTHER PEOPLE'S INTEXTTEXT TENSIONS FOR YOU OF WONDERING INTENTIONS FOR YOU.

WONDERING ALL OF US HAVE, FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE EXPECTATIONS.

TRADITIONAL SORT OF LOCAL FAMILY, THERE'S A LOT OF EXPECTATIONS.

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THAT, YOU KNOW SOMEONE EXPECTING SOMETHING, OR YOU'RE EXPECTING SOMETHING, HOW DEAL WITH THAT.

>> HAS GOTTEN OLDER BEEN ABLE TO USE SOME OF THE TOOLS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

IF I'M GOOD WITH IT, I'LL GO THAT WAY.

IF NOT, I NEED TO BE ABLE TO ADDRESS IT WITH THAT PERSON.

IT'S STILL HARD.

AND SOMETIMES THERE'S NO GOOD ANSWER.

NOT BAD.

SOMETIMES JUST JAN KEN PO.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION AND LIVE WITH IT.

>>Daryl: BRIAN, FROM A FILIPINO FAMILY I KNOW A LOT OF EXPECTATIONS THERE.

FAMILY EXPECTATIONS.

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THAT.

>> VERY LIGHTLY.

SO AGAIN, WHEN WE TALK ABOUT THAT SORT OF THING I TRY TTRY IINTEREST TO CARVE ENOUGH E TO SPEND ALL SIDE AND DO IT IT EQUITABLY.

MAKING SURE THAT WE SPEND ENOUGH TIME WITH EACH OF THE FAMILY UNITS OR WHATNOT.

AT LEAST THERE'S SOME MEMORIES THAT ARE MADE AND SO FORTH.

>>Daryl: THAT'S TRUE TOO DIFFERENT FAMILY UNITS, DIFFERENT PLACES.

ALL WITH THAT EXPECTATION.

>> YEAH.

AGAIN, GOING BACK TO MAKING SURE YOU PLAN EFFECTIVELY, AND HOPING THAT YOU CAN FIT EVERYTHING.

>>Daryl: I'VE GOT TWO QUESTIONS THAT ARE INTERESTING AND GETTING A LITTLE BIT HEAVY SIDE AGAIN.

ONE PERSON WROTE, FAMILY TRADITIONS ARE SO WONDERFUL DURING HOLIDAYS.

SOMETHING WE LOOK FORWARD TO.

TRADITIONS CAN EVOLVE AS WE AGE.

IT IS OKAY TO MAKE A ADJUSTMENT.

PEOPLE IN GENERAL SHOULD BE OKAY WITH CHANGE.

THEN HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

KNOW HE WILL SAYS I'M GOING TO HAVE SURGERY BEGINNING OF DECEMBER WON'T BE ABLE TO DO NORMAL HOLIDAY ROUTINE.

GET TRY OR GO SHOPPING.

PEOPLE GOING TO STRUGGLE US O OF THE CONTROL HOME BOUND PLEASE BE MINDFUL OF THEM DURING HOLIDAY SEASON.

WE SHOULD ALL BE MINDFUL OF THAT.

IN YOUR WORK WITH ELDERLY PEOPLE, WHAT SMUD YOU DO?

SAY YOU HAVE ELDERLY PERSON, AND NEIGHBOR OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW.

WHAT IS THE APPROPRIATE WAY TO APPROACH THAT PERSON ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS?

TO ME, I'VE ALWAYS ACTED LIKE, I WANT TO HELP YOU I DON'T NEED ANY HELP.

>> YOU HE THINK JUST ACT OF ASKING IF THEY NEED HELP OR OFFERING FOOD, OR SPENDING SOME TIME TALKING TO THEM, I THINK OBVIOUS IF THEY ACTUALLY REALLY DON'T WANT YOU TO BE THERE.

BUT IF YOU OPEN THE DOOR A LITTLE BIT, THEY MIGHT WANT TO TALK.

JUST THAT A LITTLE BIT OF INTERACTION.

CAN MEAN A LOT.

TO SOMEONE.

I THINK MEALS ON WHEELS DELIVERY, I KNOW THAT OUR TEAM VOLUNTEERS GO IN AND GET TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME BECAUSE NEED TO MOVE ONTO THE NEXT MEAL DELIVERY.

BUT SOME OF THE SENIORS REALLY WANT THAT.

INVITE THEM IN.

WANT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION.

AND SO IT'S JUST REALLY IMPORTANT.

NOT JUST A MEAL DELIVERY PROGRAM.

IT'S AT A REALLY THE SOCIAL INTERACTION THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE.

SO MUCH SENIOR HAVE EXTRA FOOD IN REFRIGERATOR.

DON'T EAT FOOL MEAL.

WAN-DON'T EATTHE FULL MEAL.

WANT TO SEE THE VOLUNTEER EVERY WEEK OR DAY.

>>Daryl: GREAT EXPERIENCE I REGRET NOT DOING IT MORE OFTEN.

I SHOULD DO THAT.

ROY WRITES WHAT ADDS TO THE PRESSURE OF THIS TIME OF YEAR?

THREE MAJOR HOLIDAYS WITHIN FIVE WEEK SPAN.

AS IT'S A LOT.

GREAT BUT AS PANEL MENTIONED SETTING BOUNDARIES MATTERS.

OKAY NOT TO SAY THE IN EVERYTHING.

BEAUTIFUL TO BE ABLE TO PICK AND NOT TO BE ABLE PARTICIPATE IN EVERYTHING.

BEAUTIFUL TO PICK AND CHOOSE.

WHAT BASE SHOULD WE PICK AND CHOOSE?

>> TRADITIONS DON'T HAVE TO BEING EVERY YEAR.

TRADITIONS CAN BE SOMETIMES.

SOMETIMES GO SEE LIGHTS AT HOLIDAY HAIL.

SOMETIMES WE GO.

HOLIDAY HA HALL HALE DON'T HAVE TO BE MAGICAL FOLLOWING TRADITION.

THAT PERSON SAID, TRADITIONS ARE EVOLVING ALL THE TIME AND IT'S OKAY TO ONLY DO THEM, SOME YEARS AND NOT EVERY SINGLE YEAR.

>> I LIKE THAT.

>> I THINK IT'S ALSO OKAY, LET GO OF THINGS BECAUSE YOU SEE A LOT OF AGING PEOPLE AS WELL WHO REALLY STRESS THEMSELVES OUT TRYING TO MAKE ALL OF THESE THINGS FOR PEOPLE.

DO ALL OF THESE ACTIVITIES.

REALLY THEY'RE HAVING MOBILITY PROBLEMS AND OTHER HEALTH PROBLEMS.

REALLY IT'S OKAY TO CHANGE THOSE EXPECTATIONS THAT YOU HAVE OF YOURSELF.

>>Daryl: GIFTO GOOD POINT.

TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE EATING SO ON, GO THROUGH TEN MONTHS OF THE YEAR STICKING TO YOUR DIET.

THEN BOOM.

>> YEAH.

CAN REALLY TAKE A TOLL.

PEOPLE ALSO TEND TO KIND OF GIBB UGIVE UP NORMAL WELLNESS ROUTINE.

>>Councilmember Waters: HARD TO KEEP IT UP.

>> YEAH.

>>Daryl: HARD TO KEEP IT UP.

WITH TIME CONSTRAINTS MAKING TIME TO SET ASIDE FEW MINUTES TO, DO MEDITATION, DEEP BREATHING MAKING SURE YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP AGAIN.

GETTING BACK TO THAT TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES DURING THE HOLIDAYS.

>>Daryl: BRIAN, THIS IS IT'S BEEN SAID THAT'S BEST DEALS COME AFTER CHRISTMAS.

IS THAT REALLY TRUE.

>> >> YOU KNOW, INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH DEALS WITH COMING BEFORE THANKSGIVING.

SO IT KIND OF VARIES.

SEEN IT NOW LIKE I KNOW LOOKING AT CERTAIN WEBSITES, ALREADY DOING THEIR BLACK FRIDAY, SO IT'S KIND OF ALL OVER THE PLACE.

PROBABLY ONE BIGGEST THING I WOULD SUGGEST IS AGAIN, GOING BACK AND MAKING A LIST AND SEEING WHAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN.

AND SEEING WHAT IS OUT THERE.

ALWAYS MAYBE CHECK AMAZON.

SEE WHAT THE PRICES ARE.

BECAUSE SOME STORES ACTUALLY PRICE MATCH.

>>Daryl: INTERESTING QUESTION HERE.

THAT SOMEONE PUT ASTERISK BY.

INTERESTING QUESTION.

NOT EVERYONE CELEBRATES HOLIDAYS.

SO PART OF THE RAMPING HOLIDAYS IS ACCEPTING MANY, MANY PEOPLE DON'T CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS BY CHOICE.

SEEMS TO BE A LOT OF SOCIETAL PRESSURE WITH BE FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOR HOLIDAYS NO MATTER WHAT.

INTERESTING CHALLENGE.

NOT EVERYBODY IS CHRISTIAN.

NOT EVERYBODY IS FOLLOWING CERTAIN TRADITIONS.

HOW DO WE ACCEPT THEM AND MAKE THEM COMFORTABLE?

ANYONE WANT TO BITE THAT?

>> IT'S GO AHEAD.

YOU HAVE GOOD THEORIES ON THESE THINGS.

>> MY HUSBAND JEWISH.

CELEBRATE HANUKKAH.

I LEAVE SPACE FOR ALL IT.

SOME YEARS DOESN'T WANT TO LIGHT A CANDLE SOME YEARS HE DOES.

WHATEVER HE WANTS.

I'M WILLING TO SUPPORT WHATEVER AT THAT LOOKS LIKE.

I WANT HIM TO MAKE SPACE FOR MY STUFF I MAKE SPACE FOR HIS TOO.

>> COOL.

>>Daryl: OKAY.

MY MOTHER GETTING MEALS ON WHEELS DURING CANCER TREATMENT.

AMAZING BUT MORE FROM THE INTERACTION PEOPLE DEALING WITH THE FEED.

GRATEFUL FOR THE HUMAN CONTACT EXPERIENCE.

COUPLE OF MINUTES.

GO THROUGH IT ALL OF YOU.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE MAIN TAKEAWAYS ARE HERE?

START WITH YOU.

WHAT DO YOU THINK FROM THIS CONVERSATION WE SHOULD EMPHASIZE FOR PEOPLE HEADING INTO THESE HOLIDAYS?

>> I THINK PLANNING SEEMS TO BE ONE THING.

I THINK EVERYTHING JUST ANNKNOWING YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY.

RESPECTING WHAT MASAKI OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY.

WHAT MAKES OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY.

SOMETIMES JUST ABOUT ASKING.

TO FIND OUT WHAT IT WOULD BE.

>>Daryl: FOR YOU WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD EMPHASIZE FROM THIS CONVERSATION.

>> SAME THING.

REALLY LIVING INTENTIONALLY AND REALLY SETTING IN THAT INTENTION.

AND FOCUSING ON OUR SELF-CARE.

AND REALLY UNDERSTANDING WHAT WE NEED GOING INTO THIS TIME.

RATHER THAN CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT OF COURSE, WE DO WANT TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE.

BUT WE DON'T NEED TO CONSTANTLY THINK ABOUT PEOPLE PLEASING.

>>Daryl: WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT WE SHOULD REALLY FOCUS ON?

>> I THINK LOOKING OUT FOR EACH OTHER.

WE OFTEN WHEN SOMEBODY HAVING A MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS NOT EVEN AWARE THEY'RE HAVING A CRISIS.

IMPORTANT TO PAY ATTENTION TO LOVE ONES, STRESS BUCKET IS GETTING OVER N FLOODED.

MAKING MORE SAFE SPACE TELLING STORY IS.

SHARING VULNERABLE THING REFLECTED TO OTHER PEOPLE CAN SHARE THAT BACK WITH YOU.

>>Daryl: SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE SAYING LISTEN.

YOU SEEM TO BE A VERY DISCIPLINED PERSON.

>> SOMETIMES.

>>Daryl: GET THE BETTER OF US AT CHRISTMAS.

HOW DO YOU CONTROL YOUR IMPULSIVENESS.

>> SOMETIMES I HAVE SUPPORT.

AS I MENTIONED, VILLAGE.

MY DAUGHTER KIND OF KEEP ME IN CHECK.

WHEN IT COMES TO CERTAIN THINGS AND SO FORTH.

ALWAYS GOOD TO HAVE SOMEBODY THAT YOU CAN BOUNCE THINGS OFF OF.

SO IF YOU'RE FEELING I AM PULLINGIVE DOING -- IMPULSIVE DOING AN EVENT WHATNOT BOUNCE IT OFF YOUR OTHER HALF AND AGAIN, GOING BACK WITH THE PLANNING MAKING SURE THAT YOU STICK WITH THE PLAN.

THAT YOU SET FORTH.

BUT HAVING THAT SUPPORT FOR SOMEBODY THAT YOU CAN TALK TO ON A CONSISTENT BASIS, TO HELP YOU OUT.

TO ME, THAT'S PROBABLY REALLY GOOD THING TO HAVE.

IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU CAN STAY ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

>>Daryl: I THINK WE'RE ALL TALKING ABOUT IS BEING FAMILY WITH YOUR FAMILY.

IS IT PLANNED?

WATCH OUT FOR EACH OTHER.

LISTEN EACH OTHER.

LOVE EACH OTHER.

>> YEAH.

>>Daryl: I THINK WE'RE OUT OF TIME.

GUYS.

I WANT TO SAY MAHALO TO ALL OF YOU FOR JOINING TONIGHT.

AND WE THANK OUR GUESTS - PRESIDENT AND CEO OF LANAKILA PACIFIC RONA YAGI FUKUMOTO, AND DR.

JENNY SATTERBERG FROM HAWAI'I PACIFIC HEALTH.

DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF NAMI HAWAII ANISA WISEMAN, AND FROM HAWAIIUSA FEDERAL CREDIT UNION, BRYAN YUCOCO.

SPEAKING OF THE HOLIDAYS, THE INSIGHTS CREW WILL BE TAKING A BREAK THROUGH THE NEW YEAR.

WE'LL BE BACK ON JANUARY 15TH WITH A PREVIEW OF THE 2026 LEGISLATIVE SESSION.

PLEASE JOIN US THEN.

I'M DARYL HUFF FOR INSIGHTS ON PBS HAWAI'I.

ALOHA!

AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

♪